Tuesday, November 30, 2010

One down -- Five to go !!!

Lost in a sea of books and notes, with no shore in sight, November 2010, redefined me. I have always taken pride about maintaining proper habits, like sleeping early, rising early, having proper food etc (food part is hugely debatable). Returning to IIT after my bro's wedding in late October, I was welcomed back by a huge chunk of assignments and quizzes. I guessed a week of late night studies and night outs would suffice and then I could return to my normal routine. Weeks passed, it was exams after exams, assignments after assignments, and eventually end semester exams. Too use the much clich├ęd term of this generation, I was too loaded.

Marred by an erratic lifestyle and hours of flipping through text books, I was gearing up for the final showdown. The objective was well defined, "Pass the exam". I told myself that I shall start worrying about grades from next semester onwards. Somehow, I wanted to get done with this semester, which was marked by some flop shows in mid semester exam. With a clear goal in mind, I was preparing for the exam, and the stressful lifestyle took its toll on me. Add to my woes, my seminar date was fixed on the day of my last exam which meant, I had to make my report during the break between the first two and last two exams. With some 20 odd research papers to read and 14 odd pages of report to type, the writing was on the wall, "Work like a dog". So did I. Close to 40 hrs of work on the report, and my mind and body was falling apart. I had to stop. I submitted my report for comments, and resumed with my exam preparations.

Coming back to the exams, the first exam was somewhat manageable and was tough as expected, no surprises there. The second one was tough beyond expectations and was marred by the fact that, I failed to recollect topics which I had studied before the exam. It was an absolute shocker. Keeping my fingers crossed, hoping that I will pass the exam. The third exam, for which I have already received my scores was reasonable, except for the fact that the failure to recollect was haunting me. I casted doubts on my memory and my doubts were proved right, when I wrote the fourth exam. I could not recollect a problem, which I had solved just the day before the exam. It was too much to take. Disgusted with myself, I could not find what was going wrong with me. Was it the lack of sleep or erratic lifestyle that took its toll on my memory power? I have no idea. Looking back, I feel, those marks were there for the taking, but, 'so near, yet so far'.

While writing this entry, I realize that my health has taken a severe beating, and I need to improve on my health as soon as possible, to keep myself sharp and agile. My memory, a mainstay in all my academic successes over the years, needs to be brought back to the helm. Looking ahead to the next five semesters, I realize, I should plan and manage myself better amidst the tiring routine. The x-factor being, managing myself better !!!