Subtle emotions

The debacle at Siemens had strengthened my will power and determination. I was the master of my self. I knew when and where to draw the line. I had the notion carved into my mind, that I should only have professional relationships with my colleagues. Equidistant to everybody, that was the line. I might come across as selfish. I am being factual.

Somewhere over the last three months, I let off my guard. I have a healthy number of friends with whom, I can share my problems, personal and work related. I am becoming more and more dependent on them. I enjoy the time when we have tea together in the evening, where we take a real break from research and unwind. I am elated when they join me for my weekly temple visits, and stuff.

The story was very different few months back. I had the same personal problems (nothing serious though) then too. I used my logic to reason it out and solve the issues. My parents would lend an ear whenever something was not going great at work. I was happy in my little world too.

Why am I writing such a post?
Well there are a few reasons. A weird incident, with a couple of friends, who went for tea, without calling me. I felt really hurt and isolated. Made me wonder, How could I be hurt, by a trivial incident. I felt weird about myself, and left me pondering. I realized I was being dependent on people.Emotions had capsized my logical reasoning. A trend which I had vouched would never happen to me.

Then there is this girl, whom I had seen, a few times in department. I started developing a 'crush' for this girl. Well, this was the worst, that could happen to me. I despise the prospect of a crush, and falling head over heels in love with this girl or any other girl for that matter. I had vouched to go by my parent's discretion quite sometime back.

Serious introspection was required as to why this was happening to me. I realized, I had let the flood gates of my mind open to subtle emotions. I realize the subtle emotions, would make me weak at heart. There is no room for error. I have to conquer my emotions and let my rational mind take over.

Incidentally, while typing this post, the stark realization dawned upon me. I always have the option of reverting back to my previous self, in a diplomatic way, by not hurting my friends.

Dear Reader, if you find that I have gone nuts, do comment and inform me. I firmly believe in the notion, there has to be a reason for everything. Hence, I analyze and at times, when the number of variables are too large, I write it in my blog, so I can reference it at a later stage.

Total madness right !!!!..hehe..If you wanna offer help call @ 09619527371 ;)