My brother turned 26, this July.Employed with a multinational networking company, he earns a decent salary. Sounds like a matrimonial ad,doesn't it? My parents have embarked on a mission to find a prospective bride for my brother. The search parameters have been shortlisted, and the search is in its 'beta' stage. A couple of prospective alliances came over, but the ever problematic, astrological match took its toll. The alliances came from relatives and well wishers, and hence technically the search was confined to a restricted 'database'. As the days progress the search will expand to a huge database, and the task more daunting. Yesterday, as part of this exercise, we(me,my bro and mother) had to search for a profile in a matrimonial website. The profile was viewed and it hit the astrological roadblock. We moved on,and performed a search based on the 'parameters' . It yielded, some 1500 profiles,with photos and details. While browsing through various profiles, the thought dawned on me. How do we identify a person for this enormous list, and my brother will have spend the rest of his life with her? It is an extremely complicated search. A whole range of external factors come into the purview. I told my mother about my dilemma and she retorted, "it is indeed a tough job, but there is no other go". I told her not to bother me with this, when my time comes.
I have been a proponent of arranged marriage for some years now. 'Arranged' as per my definition excludes the 'stage managed' arranged marriages (rebellion at home in order to marry the girl/guy whom you loved). This is strictly my personal take on it, and I do not intend to hurt anyone. The tiresome nature of the above mentioned exercise made me wonder, whether I was endorsing the right thing. I still believe, it is the duty of the parents to find the right match for their children. After all, they have earned that right. The first two paragraphs contradicts itself, and it is this contradiction that baffled me. If I go the traditional way, I will have to go through a long search routine, and If I break free of the tradition, the search would be far less 'painful'. Is it that a wiser mind (older mind) takes more time to arrive at a conclusion than a younger mind?
I leave it to you dear readers to post your comments on the same.
However, the search continues...................
6 comments:
But the million dollar question is... "With all these parameters when a search is made... is the match perfect? or we have to adjust with it?" There will be lots of views with the question and the most suitable escape to the question will be that "No one is perfect and we have to adjust...!" But the discussion still remains open and there is no undisputed conclusion of which way is better "love or arranged"... I feel... whichever way suits you is better for you. :-)
This topic is something as young people we always debate on,but it is one of those topics which we have to conclude without deciding what is right and what is wrong.
Like any topic this both the arrangements have postivies and negatives.
Think of this,you marry a girl who hardly likes your intrest,whose attitude you cant bear at all.What happens,,,, you got to live with that all your life.Of course you can divorse at any time. But i suppose none of us will marriage with an intention of divorse at any moment of time.
Another tragedy can strike you....You the perfect guy of the neigbourhood,brought up in the most polished way,never offended your parents by showing atleast the guts to date a girl,whose hardline philosophy may be to love only one girl in his life time..........finds himself married to a girl,who had many boyfriends as a bachelorette.
Well dont think i am a male chauvnist. The viceversa of the above statements have an equal likely chance of occuring.
But at this point I have to say I am biased towards love marriage. I am not talking about the love marraiages where guy first finds out the caste of the girl then here dob(we are supposed to marry girls younger than us) I donno if guys have started asking for those astrological charts also before proposing to the girls nowadays.
I am talking about an evolutionary standpoint. I was having a discusion with one of my friends on the issue of reservation and he pointed out the creation of GENE POOL because of breeding between people of same community,I think even Darwin mentioned in Orgin of species about creation of gene pools based on the inability to cross breed between species in diffrent continents.
Well this caste system is creating a gene pool in itself. May be love marriages can break these genepools for good.
Well I know it is too much to suggest that u you should marry in such a way that we can get away with the caste system and all.
Anyways marraige is like A box of choclates,you will only know if you have a Five star or a Centre shock after you have it
Yes, it is indeed a double edged sword.
Quote: "I donno if guys have started asking for those astrological charts also before proposing to the girls nowadays".
ROFLMAO!!!! My heart is in my mouth laughing! I would like to see one of those! Reminds me of something similar- though not quite the same. A scene from 'Annyan' - Ambi with a love letter going past his love, ignoring her and to her mother - for morality's sake!
Quote: I am talking about an evolutionary standpoint.
Man, that is freaky!!! - even when trained to think logically! Don't think so much about it! People fall in love for a reason - the same Darwin's evolution. Gut instinct here means more than any thought out reason. If I fall in love with a girl at first sight, I definitely wont be thinking about getting a DNA test (modern equivalent of astro charts!).
deleted my previous comment as I have decided to think seriously on serious matters.
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