First Anniversary

Change is the only constant .
"Will you stop talking on the phone and have your dinner?", my mother used to shout at me. Those were the days when my mobile phone would be buzzing with activity. Those were the days when I had a group of friends coming over to my place for combined study sessions. Those were the days of late night messages and chatting. Those were the days when I was blindfolded by love. Those were the days.....

It has been an year since I left college. Lot of things have changed. My outlook, perception, apprehension, thought process has seen a drastic change. The last one year has equipped me with the right tools to face an aggressive, in-compassionate world. The dark days reinvigorated my thought process and cemented my beliefs and ideologies. I am no more a pessimist, optimism has driven away any tad of pessimism that was in me during my college days. Those days, I always feared the worst, be it, attending a practical examination or on the eve of publication of result.Hence, I used to frequent the temples and try to attain solace and peace of mind. The tide has turned now, I have realized the essence of 'true faith' (my take on true faith can be read from a previous post) and hence I am no more a pessimist.

My friend circle 'was' quite an enormous one. Time has proved that it was a fallacy, and has separated the wheat from the chaff. A handful of ever reliable and dependable friends, that is what my treasure-trove is left with. They don the cap of my mentors and critics. Hats off to my dearest friends.
'A broken friendship can be soldered but will never be sound', a fact I realized over the past one year (refer to my earlier post "Token of love", if you are not a regular follower of the blog).

I was always apprehensive about leaving home and staying in a new place. I despised staying in hostels and dormitories. As part of the training program for my job, I had to leave the comfort of my home and head for Mumbai. Two months of training aimed at molding a corporate from a college grad. The initial couple of days was stressful having to mingle with a whole bunch of new people from various parts of the country. My roommate too was a guy from Bangalore, who was quite friendly and we got along well. The apprehensions flew off, as the training programs gained momentum. Thanks to the countless group tasks.
Quite contrary to what I have been at home, I visited places in Mumbai, and every weekend would be marked by a trip to a tourist spot. I had a lucky escape from the 26/11 terror attacks, thanks to our local train, which left the station 10 minutes before the attack commenced, much to the anxiety of my parents.Those were testing times for me, moments of chaos and anxiety.
The tenure in mumbai ensured that my inhibitions took a back seat. I grew beyond the realm of being a Keralite into an Indian, who could accept the wide cultural and regional diversity of my country.

My tenure in Bangalore was a fruitful one, yet I witnessed the black day in my career, thanks to the global economic recession. The lack of colour, and the routine nature of the days in office reminded me of the sweet days in college. I was missing it perhaps for the first time since college, but I felt helpless. I wondered whether this routine would make me numb. I always felt out of place in office. I pondered on whether I had come to the wrong place. Then came the layoff. I was caught unawares.

Days of trauma followed the layoff. I was staring at darkness. Two months had passed by until I had learned to live with the harsh reality. Now, I wonder, why was I upset over losing a job which never gave me a tad of satisfaction ? The profound damage to my ego (prospect of being unemployed) had driven me to the point of exasperation. No more egos or the like haunts me anymore. I feel like a free soul, and have the freedom to decide what I want to do in life (kudos to my parents, who in no way pressurize me into securing a job).

I firmly believe, what ever has happened to me has been for my good. I feel I have become a better person than an year ago. The one thing I miss now, is my friends, who have gone places owing to their job requirements.

Before I wind up, I am jotting down the proverb that i firmly believe now:

A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.

PS:
One year down the lane, I may write another similar post. My view points would have changed further by then. This blog has been more like a personal diary for me, A collection of my evolving thought process.