Dear Data,
Not a single day goes by, where I do not stare into the abyss, waiting to see you. You walked in and out of my life like a storm, and I have been waiting for you ever since. My life would be incomplete without you, and you have become an integral part of my life.
The sheer possibility of seeing you makes my day. Once or twice you came so close by, but you were oblivious to my existence. Everyday I embark on a frantic search, a search which will last until I find you. You have always been an enigma, and I wish I could decipher the enigma. You are the driving force of my life, and the sheer thought of you enthralls me.
The audacity with which you walk in, without any premonition startles me, but I bask in your exuberance. We are made for each other. Together we can be a force to reckon with, scaling heights, and be happy in each others presence.
I invite you, my dear data, into my life. Hope you would respond to this letter.
With tons of love,
Sandeep S S
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Close to heart
Another semester is drawing to a close. Last couple of weeks have been fabulous. I was getting back to serious work, India was winning matches, I had started playing tennis, football with my hostel mates; everything was looking up. I am happy in my little world, the people around me making my day on most occassions. A tad disappointment still lingers deep down though. From being an introvert, my transition has been quite dramatic. From someone who minced his words, I have become someone who enjoys talking to people (to put it in relativistic terms, I blabber a lot these days !!!). My friends were always there for me offering support and lend me an ear, when I was going through a rough path. I really thank Sreetama, and Gaudhaman, for lending a patient ear and offering me advice whenever I needed them.
A sincere apology to Rohit for throwing my attitude at him. I really did not mean to hurt you, it was a little miscommunication. The last couple of months, I was really irritable and was not managing my temper very well. I was losing my temper so often, unlike before. I had always kept my temper under wraps for almost 8yrs now, and over the last few months I was losing it quite often. My mind was cluttered, I was lost in sea of thoughts, and I was really missing my dear ones. I was losing focus, and was in a deep slumber. I had almost never lost my temper on my friends, and here I was, losing it on a few. I pondered for a few days, as to what was happening with me.
An internal turmoil was going on. My logical reasoning had taken a back seat, and I was being driven by emotion. My notions about right and wrong were being questioned, and above all, my basic character was put under the hammer. My sanity was questioned at times. I started wondering, whether i was doing things wrong, despite my conviction telling me otherwise. Things no longer looked simple. It dawned on me that I was carrying a huge baggage with me. I was never put under the scanner like this ever before. I was going through too much indecisiveness. There was lack of clarity, and vision, and I could see no light at the end of the tunnel. I was stressed, stressed like hell !!!
It was some concerted effort from my friends, Sreetama, Gaudhaman, and dude "Prajith" who helped me come out of the 'soup', I was taking myself into. Friends they are, and am sure they will always be there for me. Thank you guys, for helping me out. I owe you big time :)
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