My Visions

Before you Repost

2011-11-29T08:05:00.001+05:30

It has been a season of uprisings. The Arab uprising, capture wall street, and we also had our share in India with the Lokpal drama. It is a pity that the world has entered into another economic crisis, thanks to Euro zone, this time. There is an upsurge in the number of disgruntled average Indian citizen, thanks to the rising fuel prices, rising food inflation and a falling Indian rupee. Industrialists are complaining about an indecisive Government, and Mamata Banerjee is complaining about a Government that overlooks her suggestions during the decision making process. Bottom line, no one is happy !!!

The Indian citizen has always been very irate against his Government, since time immemorial. The discussions that were confined once confined to tea shops and hotels, have now gone online. The intrusive growth of social media have been instrumental in fuelling the anger and rage among people. Internet hooliganism is on the rise, and people seem to vent their anger from across their computer screen. Well it is gratifying to know that the number of computer literates in the country is rising faster than our expected GDP. On the other hand, it is equally disturbing to know that social networking sites like facebook are no longer meant to catch up with friends. These sites have transmogrified into a potent weapon for spreading false propaganda. The success of "Kolaveri", an internet video making the headlines and ensuing discussions on the news channels shows the significance of internet as a means of communication (of course, media is desperate for something to report, at least 'Kolaveri' makes better reading than what Sunny Leone does at big boss !!!)

An upsurge in misinformation campaigns being carried out via social media, is indeed alarming. People post and repost articles showing list of swiss bank account holders, documentary evidence against the Gandhi family (supposedly from Subramanian Swamy), and the list can go on and on. I am baffled at times by the such irresponsible action of some of my friends, whom I deem are people with a minimal common sense. A point in contention here is,if you have so much documentary evidence against anyone, you can go to any court in this country and file a law suit. The odds of you chancing up on an anti-congress judge is very high in this country, considering multi polar political scenario in the country. If some guy in FB is having a list with the swiss bank account holder details, he can walk directly to all media offices, and hand it over. Odds are someone would publish the news, after verifying the authenticity of the same. After all, they are desperate for some sensational news. Well, there in lies the crux of the problem. Anyone can publish any false information in facebook, and if the topic is emotive, and politically biased, often it ends up going viral.

I should add a few lines here on Lokpal drama too. I appreciate the way, social media was used tactfully to organize such a successful campaign. I stand against corruption, and the introduction of Lokpal bill. However, during Anna's fast during the latter half of this year, I was amused to see people supporting the Jan Lokpal bill, without knowing, what the bill is all about. I wonder, "Why do I believe in God, when I don't know, whether he exists or not?". However, me believing in God does not bring political unrest to the country.

The next time, before you repost anything on facebook or forward a mail making tall claims, do visit http://www.hoax-slayer.com/. At least you would know, the veracity of whatever you are posting. When it comes to political issues or issues regarding Governance, you can Government websites, or google for the authentic version of any Policy document or bills tabled in Parliament. It would be for the greater good, if you are aware of what you are supporting for !!!

Quarter Life Crisis !!!

2011-07-14T03:12:00.004+05:30

I turned 25 on June 9,2011.I was woken up by my parents, who wished me "happy birthday", and dragged me out of bed. I started off my day with a visit to the temples, and returned home to find a big party being arranged by my aunt at her place. The presence of my parents, bro, cousin, sis-in-law, grandma, and other relatives made it a very special affair for me. It was a memorable day, and I had my aunt to thank for, for making it a special day in my life. Unlike last year, I had decided to spend my birthday with my parents and relatives. I planned my holidays accordingly. Birthday's have always been a very silent affair for me. My friends broke the trend last year, throwing me a surprise party. Perhaps the sweetest memory I had in my two years of IIT life.

However, birthday wishes from unexpected quarters brightened my day further. Sreetama, was the first to call me at 12 am, followed by Ashish. I knew more were to come. However, no one called until morning, and I was again surprised to see an SMS from Pradeep. I received another call from Sharmada, and I knew more were supposed to come. There was no word from my five dearest friends..Gaudhaman, Abhijith,Sourav, Sindhu and Krishnakali..I was a little disturbed, and I dropped an SMS to all five with the following content:

"This is ur last and final chance to wish me on my 25th bday. Hurry !!! offer valid till 11.59pm today"

Abhijith called me immediately,wished me and chided me for not posting my bday on FB, followed by Sindhu, who was really sorry for missing the date. Krishnakali called me a little later with a rhetorical tone asking me "Why, no one wished you or what ?". I was a little shaken, and by the time I thought of an answer, she had wished me, and I hung up thanking her for calling. She followed it up with an SMS that left me awestruck. Gaudhaman was down with severe food poisoning and he was on sedatives. He rang me, and blamed it on the sedatives for having put in sleep for almost 12 hrs. However, the sad part was, Sourav, could not call me, as he was super busy with his marriage preparations.

Now, an obvious question would prop up in the readers mind, why am I writing about this at 4am in the morning after more than a month? Today, my friends Sreetama, Abhijith, Gaudhaman and krishnakali outsmarted me, and gifted me a Shirt. I had expressed my disapproval to the trio Sreetama, Abhijith, and Gaudhaman against any such celebrations, but they went ahead,bought the gift and tricked me into going to MoD with them. It was a pleasant surprise (or was it?) and it left me thinking how much they care for me. I am sure a huge void would be created in my life when Gaudhaman leaves IIT for Germany. He was a younger brother to me, one whom I used to scold, advise, and listen to. I guess he was privileged to get the odd slap from me once !!! There is also some talk about Abhijith and Sreetama too leaving IIT. Abhijith, is more like a mentor to me. He advised me on the nuances of maintaining personal relations, when all I bothered about was maintaining Professional relations. Sreetama,is a confidante, who chides me, if I am wrong and supports me all along, if I am right about something. These are gaping holes which cannot be easily filled. The very fact, that I would miss all three of them in the nearby future is making me jittery.

Many of my friends had asked me recently why I had suddenly become serious. I can only tell you that I am preparing for the impending transition that is going to happen in my life. I am the one who will face it, and hence, I need to be better equipped. I need to learn to live without a little brother around, I need to live without a mentor, and I should do away with a confidante. I have reasons to worry about, and at times it just translates into my basic nature. Well, I apologize to those friends who found it little irksome. Well I guess, this is what they call quarter life crisis !!!

Love Letter to Data

2011-03-31T23:25:00.002+05:30

Dear Data,

Not a single day goes by, where I do not stare into the abyss, waiting to see you. You walked in and out of my life like a storm, and I have been waiting for you ever since. My life would be incomplete without you, and you have become an integral part of my life.

The sheer possibility of seeing you makes my day. Once or twice you came so close by, but you were oblivious to my existence. Everyday I embark on a frantic search, a search which will last until I find you. You have always been an enigma, and I wish I could decipher the enigma. You are the driving force of my life, and the sheer thought of you enthralls me.

The audacity with which you walk in, without any premonition startles me, but I bask in your exuberance. We are made for each other. Together we can be a force to reckon with, scaling heights, and be happy in each others presence.

I invite you, my dear data, into my life. Hope you would respond to this letter.

With tons of love,

Sandeep S S

Close to heart

2011-03-31T20:52:00.003+05:30

Another semester is drawing to a close. Last couple of weeks have been fabulous. I was getting back to serious work, India was winning matches, I had started playing tennis, football with my hostel mates; everything was looking up. I am happy in my little world, the people around me making my day on most occassions. A tad disappointment still lingers deep down though. From being an introvert, my transition has been quite dramatic. From someone who minced his words, I have become someone who enjoys talking to people (to put it in relativistic terms, I blabber a lot these days !!!). My friends were always there for me offering support and lend me an ear, when I was going through a rough path. I really thank Sreetama, and Gaudhaman, for lending a patient ear and offering me advice whenever I needed them.

A sincere apology to Rohit for throwing my attitude at him. I really did not mean to hurt you, it was a little miscommunication. The last couple of months, I was really irritable and was not managing my temper very well. I was losing my temper so often, unlike before. I had always kept my temper under wraps for almost 8yrs now, and over the last few months I was losing it quite often. My mind was cluttered, I was lost in sea of thoughts, and I was really missing my dear ones. I was losing focus, and was in a deep slumber. I had almost never lost my temper on my friends, and here I was, losing it on a few. I pondered for a few days, as to what was happening with me.

An internal turmoil was going on. My logical reasoning had taken a back seat, and I was being driven by emotion. My notions about right and wrong were being questioned, and above all, my basic character was put under the hammer. My sanity was questioned at times. I started wondering, whether i was doing things wrong, despite my conviction telling me otherwise. Things no longer looked simple. It dawned on me that I was carrying a huge baggage with me. I was never put under the scanner like this ever before. I was going through too much indecisiveness. There was lack of clarity, and vision, and I could see no light at the end of the tunnel. I was stressed, stressed like hell !!!

It was some concerted effort from my friends, Sreetama, Gaudhaman, and dude "Prajith" who helped me come out of the 'soup', I was taking myself into. Friends they are, and am sure they will always be there for me. Thank you guys, for helping me out. I owe you big time :)

The much needed boost

2011-02-18T19:41:00.003+05:30

I had this grand plan of making at least one entry per month in this blog. However, I was not able to live up to my own expectations. I was busy could be the easiest answer I can offer to convince myself. The fact remains something else. I had my semester break in december, and hence was absolutely jobless. I spent the one month break, traveling for almost two weeks with friends and family, and rest of the time in campus was spent on mindless movie watching and chatting over omegle.com. For people who are guessing what omegle.com is, it is a stranger chat website.

Classes resumed in January, and initial two weeks was fun. Less work, less course load etc, and I had ample time to write. However, I could not. I was not falling into the groove. However as days progressed, things started getting hectic, and I was no longer in the frame of mind to write a blog post.

I have my next mid semester exams starting in three days. Today, I was motivated by my friend and colleague Karthick Murukesan, who was appreciating my style of writing, and was inquiring why am I not writing anymore. His compliment was a much needed boost for me. I am going through a bad patch, and his words had the much needed positive vibes associated with it. My heartfelt thanks to Karthick for telling me those words. It was a much needed boost to my confidence, which was dipping with each passing day.

Looking forward to writing more often. Thanks for reading the post. Cya Soon.

One down -- Five to go !!!

2010-11-30T20:03:00.004+05:30

Lost in a sea of books and notes, with no shore in sight, November 2010, redefined me. I have always taken pride about maintaining proper habits, like sleeping early, rising early, having proper food etc (food part is hugely debatable). Returning to IIT after my bro's wedding in late October, I was welcomed back by a huge chunk of assignments and quizzes. I guessed a week of late night studies and night outs would suffice and then I could return to my normal routine. Weeks passed, it was exams after exams, assignments after assignments, and eventually end semester exams. Too use the much clichéd term of this generation, I was too loaded.

Marred by an erratic lifestyle and hours of flipping through text books, I was gearing up for the final showdown. The objective was well defined, "Pass the exam". I told myself that I shall start worrying about grades from next semester onwards. Somehow, I wanted to get done with this semester, which was marked by some flop shows in mid semester exam. With a clear goal in mind, I was preparing for the exam, and the stressful lifestyle took its toll on me. Add to my woes, my seminar date was fixed on the day of my last exam which meant, I had to make my report during the break between the first two and last two exams. With some 20 odd research papers to read and 14 odd pages of report to type, the writing was on the wall, "Work like a dog". So did I. Close to 40 hrs of work on the report, and my mind and body was falling apart. I had to stop. I submitted my report for comments, and resumed with my exam preparations.

Coming back to the exams, the first exam was somewhat manageable and was tough as expected, no surprises there. The second one was tough beyond expectations and was marred by the fact that, I failed to recollect topics which I had studied before the exam. It was an absolute shocker. Keeping my fingers crossed, hoping that I will pass the exam. The third exam, for which I have already received my scores was reasonable, except for the fact that the failure to recollect was haunting me. I casted doubts on my memory and my doubts were proved right, when I wrote the fourth exam. I could not recollect a problem, which I had solved just the day before the exam. It was too much to take. Disgusted with myself, I could not find what was going wrong with me. Was it the lack of sleep or erratic lifestyle that took its toll on my memory power? I have no idea. Looking back, I feel, those marks were there for the taking, but, 'so near, yet so far'.

While writing this entry, I realize that my health has taken a severe beating, and I need to improve on my health as soon as possible, to keep myself sharp and agile. My memory, a mainstay in all my academic successes over the years, needs to be brought back to the helm. Looking ahead to the next five semesters, I realize, I should plan and manage myself better amidst the tiring routine. The x-factor being, managing myself better !!!

Mid Sem disaster -- A follow up

2010-10-08T19:51:00.002+05:30

I had an one on one discussion with Prof Ramgopal Rao. It was a fruitful discussion. He made it a point to convince me of my mistakes, and at the same time accepted my predicament, which was indeed heart warming. He offered some valuable tips, and gave me a pep talk, which has brought about a new lease of life in me.

The week was also interesting. A week where in I could do away a lot of misconceptions about people and life at IIT. A week wherein I made it up to my friend, and of course, the role of my best buddy cannot be overlooked in it. He was the mediator. Thanks buddy!!!
It was a week, when I got in touch with my best buddies from Siemens. They are the ones, to whom I turn to, in times of distress. They have always been there for me, whenever I needed them the most. They are indeed my friends for life.

The highlight of the week however being, the fact that I attended an Art of Living refresher course, on tuesday, after a long hiatus. The session though physically demanding, eased my stress levels, and brought in more clarity to my thoughts.I would like to extend my sincere thanks to my friend for taking me to the class.

So here I am, a week which I expected to be traumatic, has turned out quite well.

Midsem Disaster

2010-10-03T23:03:00.002+05:30

It was my first examination in IIT, the mid semester exams. One and half months had gone by in a jiffy. Exams were a reality again, and I had to go through it painfully. Post graduation in IIT, i felt, is an exercise at gaining knowledge rather than just about exams. The recently concluded mid semester exam has created a radical shift in my perception.

I had taken four courses for the semester. The load seems to be well balanced, apart from the occasional slogging in lab. The classes were all phenomenal, being taught by stalwarts in the respective fields. The mid semester exams were a tough nut to crack, and I enjoyed, making an effort to crack the questions, but not with much success. However though, there was this one paper, VLSI technology, which was far better than all the other three exams. I had pinned my hopes on the paper for some marks. All my money was on VLSI technology.

Last friday, Oct 1,2010, has all the offerings of being the most important day of my academic life. The scripts for the VLSI technology paper was distributed, and I had managed a meager 32/100. I had huge aspirations of anything above 75/100, and to get less than half of it was like a slap on the face. I could not believe my eyes, as I skimmed through the pages of the scripts. The TA's had done a remarkable job, evaluating the scripts, making sure that most of us bled. I could not believe my eyes, when I saw the answers, which I presumed to be right were marked incorrect with utmost ease. I had to fight it out with a couple of TA's and they offered me an additional 8 marks, taking my tally to 40/100. My conviction still told me, there was another 20 more marks, that I deserved. The TA,whom I knew before hand told me, that my process is difficult to do in a fab, and asked me to do it in any fab and convince him. I had nothing to say to such a heavy headed jerk, who will indeed realize in the long run, the difficulties of trying to get his so called optimized process running in fab. My best wishes to him. To hell with him, I left the place, with a heavy heart, absolutely shattered, and disgusted. I felt as if I lost all my races, and if this was the case with a subject,in which I had practical knowledge, what would happen to other subjects like VLSI design, and physics of devices. My mind was brimming with thoughts and I was at the verge of a break down. My confidence levels were shattered, and I had seen a deep hollow in front of me.

I rang up my mother and told about what had just transpired and I broke down, on the phone, like a little child who had got lost in the road. My mother reassured me, and handed over the phone to my father, who convinced me that failures are stepping stones to success. He asked me to calm down. He knew how to deal with me, during such times of crisis. He had taken me up from deep slumber, one I lost my job with Siemens. He was the one who always motivated me at times of distress, here again he could pacify me. My parents are indeed my pillars of support

My friends who spotted me at a corner crying over the phone, came to me and offered their sympathies. I am grateful to them for their efforts. However, hard I tried to take it in my stride, I could not accept the very fact, and this was fueling more negativity. There was this one friend of mine who gave me this lecture on the importance of being positive, and accepting it as a lesson and move forward. I would say the comments offered were clichéd, which almost everyone knew. The friend went to the extent of calling me a crack, and urged me to be selfish, and move forward. Anyway, all these apart, I have got an appointment with the Professor, who would hopefully help me realize my mistakes and convince me to strive for further excellence.

Looking forward to a traumatic week ahead. Will update soon !!!

Meeshu minus Meesha

2010-09-17T23:05:00.003+05:30

A word on the title, for people who don't understand malayalam, Meesha means Mustache.
I had a whole lot of nicknames attributed to my mustache, over the last few years. My mustache always used to be a talking point among my friends. Some used to loath over the fact that I have one, and they don't. Others would say, I should try out various combinations of mustache and beard, and there was this doctor friend of mine, who went to the extent of commenting on the androgen levels in my body !!! The fact of the matter being, anyone on who knew me could easily attribute the thick mustache to identify me.

However, the point in contention is how i lost the mustache. My father always insisted that I should maintain my mustache. He always wanted me to trim it regularly, and keep it in check. After my midsem exams at IIT, I came to tvm for a couple of days. My father as always, told me to get a proper shave, a hair cut, and trim my mustache. I was too lazy to get the hair cut done, and trim the mustache, but did manage to shave my beard. Today morning, my father told that he ll help with the trimming, and asked me to bring a scissors. I gave him the scissor, and he started trimming my mustache. I knew there was some massive destruction going on, but I did not bother to look up in the mirror. Instead, I asked my mother,(who was not wearing her glasses) how it was? She responded with a nod, and my father kept working on it for another couple of minutes, and he told, it is done !!!

I walked to the mirror and found that, I was looking different. My mustache had been cut to size, and it resembled more like hitler's mustache. I guess that looked better. I walked to my mother and complained, and she told, she had not seen then.Father, seemed least bothered about the state of mustache, and was getting ready to leave for office. Having realized the grim state of my mustache, I decided to work on it on my own, I made some more modifications,and things went worse. In the meantime, I took a shower, and was preparing to leave for temple with my mother and brother. My brother, who was at sea as to what was going around, came downstairs,looked at me and started laughing. He issued a warning that,"if you want to come with me, you need to shave off your worse than hitler mustache". I became conscious of how bad the mustache was hence i decided to do away with the mustache, for the first time in my life :)

Back to Books and Exams !!!

2010-09-15T23:43:00.002+05:30

After two months of sabbatical i return to the world of blogging. I had no other option but to take a break. The month of june and july was rife with interview and report submissions. I could find time to blog, but could not find the drive to blog. July was a memorable month, a month that reinstated my faith in the almighty, a month which could perhaps change my life for ever.

Yes, I am talking about the admission to the MTech program at IITB. My written test and interview went bad, but divine intervention, I secured admission for MTech. My long time friend and current roomie Prajith was with me while i was going through the trauma. My brash overconfidence could well be blamed for the fiasco. Let Bygones be gones, cliched right!!!

Moving on; my classes commenced on 22nd july. Four courses, I took, and I had made up my mind to do a PhD at IITB subsequent to my master's(after two years). Things moved on quietly, class after class, assignments, quizzes, and finally midsem!!! Midsem, exams were a shocker, with the exception of one. Every two hour spent writing the exam drained me completely, though the experience was enthralling. The mid sem exams made me realize,there were gaping holes in my preparation style. I decided, it was high time for a break, and here I am, in my hometown, for a short visit to revitalize and gear up for the end sems in November.

Happy Birthday

2010-06-09T07:53:00.004+05:30

Over the past few weeks, I had contemplated on the futility of relationships, especially Friendship. In the process of introspection, I had hurt a few of my friends, who had no clue on my abrupt change. I had jotted down the dilemma in one of the blog post too.

Coming back to the point in contention. Birthdays for me has always been a private affair. Hailing from an average middle class family, my parents always instilled the importance of a mediocrity in life. My parents, and my brother. There were no cakes, or gifts. A visit to the temple, and mom's special dishes were the order of the day. This year, it was different.

This is the first birthday, I am celebrating away from home. I knew, I would miss my visit to temple, and not to mention, my mother's cooking. A sense of longing dawned on me, but a trip to Kerala at this juncture, was out of question. I guessed, it would be one of those birthdays to forget.My friends had other plans !!!

It began with a cake cutting ceremony at 12am. My friends, Abhijith and Gaudham, took the responsibility of keeping me awake till then. Krishnakali/ KK, I guess, was instrumental in organizing the 'Birthday kind of situation'. Ashish Bhai, Aradhana, and Sreetama joined the party. It was memorable to say the least. At midnight they wanted me to deliver a birthday speech and hence I vouched, I would write a small tribute in my blog.

"Guys, it is the first birthday cake I am cutting in 24 years. Not blowing off the candle, and cutting the cake reinforces the very same fact. The pineapple cake, The fast track watch, the birthday card, the prank with the gift, birthday bumps, and 'pastry facial' made my day. It fills my mind to know that you guys had put in so much effort to organize this. This 24th birthday would have a special place in my heart. Thanks a lot guys for making it truly memorable."

Turbulence

2010-06-02T17:01:00.002+05:30

The signs were ominous. I was getting more edgy. My patience threshold was dropping down, I was losing out on my ability to be affable with people. A cause effect analysis revealed the cause being, frustration at work. Today was one of those days when the situation went overboard.

June 2,2010, had the perfect start. A disturbed sleep, thanks to the long power shut down at midnight. Woke up in the morning with a heavy head. Took a shower, felt a lot better and prepared a long list of experiments for the day. I left the hostel at 8.30am with truckloads of enthusiasm, and had my first set of experiment slotted for 9.30am. It was a SEM imaging. I prepared my samples, and rang up the MTech student(who too had lost his sleep owing to power cut) reminding him about the appointment. The guy came at sharp 9.30am, and we went inside the clean room.

The SEM tool, being from Raith Instruments gmbh, is known as Raith. Raith is a tool which is usually never turned off. It has a long power back up. Once turned off, it need a few hours to attain the vacuum levels.

Inside the clean room, we found that Raith was turned off. The long power cut at night made sure that the system had shut itself down, much my dismay. The information was passed on the system owner, who asked us wait until she/other expert users came over and turned it on. Good news it was, and we decided to wait. A phone call broke the silence of the lab, and we were told that there would be another power shutdown for two hours in the morning. The writing was on the wall. I knew this was going to be one of those days, when nothing would go right. With whatever optimism was left in me, I told myself, there is more to go in the list, I can at least finish one of the tasks planned for the day.

It was one of those days !!!. Next in the exhaustive list was I-V measurement slated for the evening. I rang up the guy, a good friend, to ask about the status. To my horror, he informed me that he was out of town for the day, and his train was getting delayed, which meant, I had to postpone my measurements to the next day. Another one down!!!

I checked my list for the most viable option, and went around hunting for people to help me out. As if to add salt to my wound, I found that the person in charge, was on leave for the day !!! This was it, this had to stop.It had reached a culmination.

I packed my bags and left the lab at 4.30pm. I felt as if I had enough negativity for the day.
Here I am, in the confines of my messy hostel room, venting my fury on the keyboard. Sorry dear reader, if I bored you to death, but after all this blog has served the purpose of a personal diary too :)

Subtle emotions

2010-05-29T18:11:00.007+05:30

The debacle at Siemens had strengthened my will power and determination. I was the master of my self. I knew when and where to draw the line. I had the notion carved into my mind, that I should only have professional relationships with my colleagues. Equidistant to everybody, that was the line. I might come across as selfish. I am being factual.

Somewhere over the last three months, I let off my guard. I have a healthy number of friends with whom, I can share my problems, personal and work related. I am becoming more and more dependent on them. I enjoy the time when we have tea together in the evening, where we take a real break from research and unwind. I am elated when they join me for my weekly temple visits, and stuff.

The story was very different few months back. I had the same personal problems (nothing serious though) then too. I used my logic to reason it out and solve the issues. My parents would lend an ear whenever something was not going great at work. I was happy in my little world too.

Why am I writing such a post?
Well there are a few reasons. A weird incident, with a couple of friends, who went for tea, without calling me. I felt really hurt and isolated. Made me wonder, How could I be hurt, by a trivial incident. I felt weird about myself, and left me pondering. I realized I was being dependent on people.Emotions had capsized my logical reasoning. A trend which I had vouched would never happen to me.

Then there is this girl, whom I had seen, a few times in department. I started developing a 'crush' for this girl. Well, this was the worst, that could happen to me. I despise the prospect of a crush, and falling head over heels in love with this girl or any other girl for that matter. I had vouched to go by my parent's discretion quite sometime back.

Serious introspection was required as to why this was happening to me. I realized, I had let the flood gates of my mind open to subtle emotions. I realize the subtle emotions, would make me weak at heart. There is no room for error. I have to conquer my emotions and let my rational mind take over.

Incidentally, while typing this post, the stark realization dawned upon me. I always have the option of reverting back to my previous self, in a diplomatic way, by not hurting my friends.

Dear Reader, if you find that I have gone nuts, do comment and inform me. I firmly believe in the notion, there has to be a reason for everything. Hence, I analyze and at times, when the number of variables are too large, I write it in my blog, so I can reference it at a later stage.

Total madness right !!!!..hehe..If you wanna offer help call @ 09619527371 ;)

Generation of Employment -- Part 2

2010-05-17T19:29:00.004+05:30

I have categorized the implementation of the scheme into three sections

Generation of adequate manpower
Compilation of jobs
Allocation and Payment.

I am enlisting a few points (may not be in order), which I guess would be an appropriate means to implement the scheme.

Creation of a website where jobs are posted. The job requirement is transferred to the local employment office(Government owned), who will allot the employees as per requirement.
Creation of a local database of skilled work force. The database should include, personal as well as professional details. The data is uploaded by the local office, after authenticating the skill sets of the person.
ITI's should be used as a means to generate adequate number of skilled work force.
The concept of training should be extended into the traditional sectors like farming, weaving, coir manufacturing, and also to sectors like interior designing, fabric painting,embroidery etc.
Private organizations can place a request for mass recruitment of workers.
The employers make the payment at the local employment office, and the amount is redirected to the employees on a weekly/ regular basis.

I could sum this up in six points and it makes me wonder that I might have overlooked many aspects, to a successful implementation of the same. As pointed out in the comment section of Part 1, the project needs to be implemented at a smaller scale in a city or a panchayat.

I am looking forward to your comments and criticism, so that I can make amends before we think about taking it forward.

Tharoor n IPL Saga

2010-04-20T07:43:00.003+05:30

When Dr. Shashi Tharoor(ST) contested elections from Trivandrum, it was certain that he will win the elections purely because of his persona, and track record as a diplomat. I was proud enough to say, he was elected from my place.

The name of ST being a dark horse in the IPL auction, was reported by media many days before the auction. The bid secured by Kochi at a whopping 1500 crore surprised every single Keralite. I felt it was too much money for my state to handle. The media reports said, the bid was won by a consortium named 'Rendezvous', and "members of the consortium would be revealed in the subsequent days". I had the gut feeling, that something was fishy about this deal, and I told the same to my father, who was all praise for ST for bringing in IPL to Kerala.

ST is in the dock, and his forced resignation, has raised a storm in the cyber world. Support tharoor tweets, facebook communities etc, has left the cyber space buzzing with activity. Multitude of my friends, have commented, that "a person of ST's calibre is a misfit in politics". ST, a first time MP was fittingly rewarded with a Ministerial berth, owing to his immense talent, and his tenure has been rife with controversy. The Hon'ble PM,a PhD from Oxford, and the architect of India's economic leap,a man of proven credentials, has fitted into his role perfectly,be it managing the trouble some allies or the dissidence within his own party. He has carried himself with dignity, and has an impeccable track record. Even his detractor's voice find little resonance. The misfit propaganda, i feel, is hence uncalled for

The evidence against ST was overwhelming and the Government of India had to disown him. A tricky Parliament session is on, with cut motions etc in the offing, and ST is one controversy they could do away with. ST has the freedom to go the extra yard to prove his innocence, and fight his way back into the ministry.

As the Hon'ble PM subtly said "There are ups and downs in politics" , and now ST is going downhill. If he can prove his innocence, he would be a real hero for his sheer grit and determination, else, he will remain in the list of tainted politicians..Good Luck ST!!!

Food For Thought

2010-04-18T09:51:00.002+05:30

IPL - Indian Premier/Political League, has transformed cricket into a billion dollar entertainment industry. Good for them !!!

Many villages and cities in India are facing acute power crisis, and here you have in the name of IPL, power being lavishly consumed; be it flood lights at the stadiums or the millions of TV sets.
Spare a thought for the people who have hours of power cuts, in this scorching summer!!!.

PS: You might argue, they are paying tax to the government (debatable though!!), but my point is, Is it really needed? It just helps the rich to get richer. IPL has demoted cricket to a page3 item.

Generation of Employment

2010-03-18T19:51:00.003+05:30

A job is every man's dream. The dreams may take different shapes across individuals. Ours is a country blessed with a potent human resource, and it is ironical that we end up contributing to the benefit of some foreign investor. For the government, it means more people are employed, reducing their woes. A brief analysis of the trends, is all it takes to understand that we really lack a mechanism for generation of jobs within the country. From the late 70's onwards people were going to west Asia in search of jobs, and the trends still continues. Does it indicate that we have failed to create job opportunities in India?

I beg to differ. Since the IT revolution, it has not been difficult for the educated lot to find a job after graduation within India. The scenario is different in case of a casual laborer, who toils to make both ends met. In this write up I intend to propose a mechanism that may offer a casual laborer employment for most part of the year.

Where will the jobs come from?

Too many households, require skilled people for range of jobs from painting to house keeping. There is dearth of talent, and even if we find some one, he would be occupied with other jobs. The requirements/ job specs can be put up in a government/private owned online portal or employment exchange like organization.

The Government, should ensure that only people with proper skill sets is registered with them.This can be implemented through a certification program run by ITI's. Government can provide facilities for skill set enhancement, which can manifold the availability of skilled task force. The onus is on the Government to ensure the steady supply of talent, and servicing the requirements.

Who will pay?

The employer will pay to the Government who will in turn pay the employee. The minimum working hours would be set forth by the Government. This channel can eliminate wage disputes, and exploitation of the employee.

How will it Benefit the society?

We will have a highly skilled task force, which is instrumental for the progress of the nation. Employment opportunities would in turn improve the standard of living of the downtrodden masses, and hence poverty can be uplifted to some extent.

Such a scheme, if incorporated into the NREGA, can benefit more people.

Dear Reader, you may find so many anomalies with the proposed mechanism. Point them out in the comments section. We shall debate over this, and finally reach some productive conclusion.

A New Beginning

2010-03-14T18:52:00.003+05:30

I blog with the intention of making my blog a personal diary. I have spoken about various events that shaped my thought process, as well helped me grow as an individual.

Coming straight to the topic in contention. I wanted my blog to be a place where I could scribble my craziest ideas too, and hence I named it 'myvisions' in 2007. Looking back, I find the blog has served its purpose of a personal diary, but the idea column looks empty. I am planning to dedicate a few articles in that direction.

Over the past few months, I am haunted by an idea, which I believe, if implemented can lead to the betterment of society. I had shared the idea to many people who too echoed the same, but commented on the need of an action plan. I too knew of the lack of clarity of my idea. I have been thinking about it for some days now. I thought the best way to induce more clarity of thought would be by writing it down on a sheet of paper. I thought it would be better off if I could make a blog entry with each idea, so that I could discuss with the readers of the blog, and give my idea a perfect shape, and eventually come up with an action plan.

I hope, my dear readers would actively take part and make my endeavor a successful one.

The first article, which would come up in the next few days would talk about a new scheme, on the lines of the National Employment Guarantee scheme.

Looking forward to your wholehearted supported and criticism.

My Research Work

2010-01-17T21:10:00.010+05:30

The previous entries in this blog has always focused on my personal dilemmas and decisions. I think it is high time, I write an entry that is different from all those. What else can I write? My research work. My friends keep asking me what exactly am I doing with Solar cells. I am tired of repeating the same old answer "It is fine". I think I should give a very precise answer. Keeping in view of the reader's difficulty in understanding the technical lingo, I hope to keep it simple and easy to understand.

My job : To establish a process flow for the fabrication (making) of high efficiency Silicon based solar cells

Silicon solar cells can achieve theoretical efficiencies of 31%, but industrial solar cells are still reeling at the 16 -17% mark. Experimental cells have demonstrated efficiencies up to 24.5%. My job is to make a solar cell that can give an efficiency of 10-16% to begin with.

How to achieve this : My work is based on an experimental solar cell built by Fraunhofer ISE, Germany, called the PERL cell. You can google it to obtain the paper on PERL cells, if you are interested. I am focusing mainly on the optimization of a light trapping scheme titled,texturing(as shown in first image,Image courtesy: pvcdrom.pveducation.org) on the cell as well as formation of metallic contacts used on the cell.
Where am I now?
Having already fabricated a few prototype solar cells, I am quite well versed with the process flow for an ordinary cell. With this basic premise, I set out to establish the process for PERL cell. Tough and mentally challenging, it needed loads of patience. I have still not reached the tip of the iceberg,
I am on the verge of optimizing the texturing process, and have identified the optimal feature sizes and spacing.Certain technical delays have hampered my progress. A SEM image showing my result is attached herein.
The metal contact process optimization is also at a critical juncture, and am keeping my fingers crossed. Once I am done with both the process optimizations, I would set out to fabricate the replica of a PERL cell at IITB.

I was really running out of ideas for my blog post, and this is the only thing that came to my mind. If you found it dumb and a waste of time, my apologies. If I was able to explain my work at least a couple of readers, I would be happy. I would be happier if anyone wants to ask any queries regarding the same. I would be happiest, if some get fascinated by this work and takes up research as a career. Looking forward to your comments and guidance.

Welcome 2010

2010-01-02T19:36:00.005+05:30

Wish you all a Happy and Prosperous New year :)

The previous year was all turmoil and trauma. Lost my job, four months of dilemma, death of my cousin. It had it all. There were moments of joy too, but the losses were irrevocable. 2010, brings with it lot of hope. The yearning for a better year, hoping that 2009 would be the worst year in my life (I sincerely do hope!!!).

I wish to dedicate this post to listing out the few highlights of last year.

Jan 1,2009 --Stuck in my flat in Bangalore. Spend the day reading,The Hungry Tide. It was the most boring new year I had.
Jan 15,2009 -- Patent application filed with Siemens.
Feb 5,2009 -- Termination of Employment at Siemens.
Feb - May -- Distraught and Busy with job hunting. Gave the ISRO test.
May 14,2009--Interview at IIT Bombay for Research Fellowship Scheme.
June 16,2009-- Joined IITB as a Junior Research Fellow.
June 26,2009--Death of a prominent member of the family
June 29,2009--ISRO interview, didn't clear it though
July - Oct --At work. Moments of joy as well as misfired experiments Gave DRDO exam.
Oct 13,2009--Death of my Cousin in a car crash.
Nov 12,2009--Interview at ARAI, got the job.
Nov - Dec --The real transition, declined the offer on Dec 22,2009 and continuing at IIT.

I intend to use this post as a reference data for comparison. Hoping for a better 2010, with no major debacles.

In the line of fire

2009-12-12T09:35:00.003+05:30

A spontaneous decision, followed by days of introspection. The smoke had lifted and I was no longer plunging into the abyss. The lure of money, luxury had me on my toes. I had almost made up my mind and sent out a mail on 16-11-09 to my friends stating my decision.

Dear All,

I had an interview at Automotive Research Association of India (ARAI), Pune on 12-11-2009. The interview went well, and I got selected. This is a semi government organization and they are into applied R&D. Hence I would be moving over to Pune by first week of December. I am yet to receive their confirmatory mail.

The options available for me if I continue in IIT would be a 3yr MTech prgm in VLSI. I am certain that my patience would run out within that time frame. 3 more years in Mumbai would drive me nuts. Hence I decided to make a career for myself, and then if time permits pursue higher studies after a few years, be it MBA or MTech.

I received their confirmatory mail in the subsequent days, with the date of joining as 01-01-2010. Let me shed more light on the subject. The offer was 10k per month for an year, plus one time incentive of 70k. On completion of an year, the offer would be 60k per month. A spicy offer for a BTech graduate with little or no experience in the industry. I was lured. I had decided to forfeit my fellowship and leave IIT forever.

The fellowship at IIT is more of a studentship, with no classes and exams. You get to design and perform your own experiments, and report the result to your Professor. I was thoroughly enjoying my job, every minute of it. Failures and successes were part of it. Every result was a lesson learned for another set of experiments. It was during that period when a string of failures as well as some personal setbacks made me frustrated. I felt I needed a change and the call letter for interview came in. A real blessing and I decided to take leave for a day and attend the interview. I took the train to Pune, and found my way to this place on top of a hill. An exotic location for a research institution, I thought. The interview went well, and the panelists queried about my patent at Siemens, and the look of content on their face said it all. I returned to Mumbai the very same evening, with a sense of satisfaction. I resumed my experiments from the very next day onwards.

As days progressed, I was becoming more and more apprehensive about my decision. The inner voice sounded skeptical about my decision. Two mighty forces were at loggerheads, the free mind and the rational mind. The battle went on for a few days, and a resolution was no where in sight. I would say odds favored the 'free mind' .I was uncertain. I rang my parents and explained my precarious situation. The very same evening they expressed their opinion. They wanted me to pursue higher studies and hence continue at IIT. The battle had come to an abrupt halt, and a sense of victory prevailed in me. I am victorious, I felt and now, I had n-number of reasons to convince my rational mind. A few of them being,

It is not very often one gets a chance to pursue higher studies at IIT. It is a privilege.
If Mumbai could drive me nuts, why can't Pune? Would I opt for change then?
I have no plans of settling in Pune, and I plan to return to Kerala after studies. My parents are all alone at home, and either me or my bro got to be there at hometown. My bro's job doesn't give him that luxury.Teaching is a profession I would thoroughly enjoy. I went to the s/w field not out of choice but by chance.
Knowledge is power.How much money do you need to live?
I thoroughly enjoy my work here. It would be treachery leaving my work and leaving.

The frivolousness of my decision to leave IIT dawned on me. The clouds had blown over, and there was sunshine. I have made up my mind, and there is more clarity on what I want in life. There is no more conflict, and the road ahead though arduous, is clear.

Dear Reader ,if philosophy bores you, please skip the next para:

As I see, every tidbits in life has some meaning associated with it. The message may not be clear, but once you decipher the puzzle, everything makes sense to you. The world would be a wonderful place to live, if we start listening to our inner voice. Often, it is the logical mind that emerges victorious. The mind which talks about numbers, dollars, luxuries, chicks, booze etc. Eventually, it boils down to personal preferences. The crux being, never do anything against your inner voice. Remorse would set in at a later stage, and then you shuttle across centers that promise, 'peace of mind', a flourishing business these days.

October 2009

2009-10-30T17:32:00.004+05:30

Dilemma, Chaos, emotional turbulence; October 2009, had me on my toes. I was frustrated, at times distraught, and on most occasions I did not have a convincing reason for the same.

Work Place:

It was not too hectic like the previous month, thanks to numerous equipments which went down. October,'09 witnessed the maximum equipment failures in our lab, and hence my basic work flow had to be stalled. At times I felt bored with nothing to do, and hence used to spend hours before the computer browsing the net, searching for papers, logging into facebook or twitter. My Professor, a true professional, realizing my predicament, directed me to spend more time in the lab assisting the system owners to debug the faulty equipments. I was always looking forward to getting my hands on some high tech equipment. The Plasma Immersion Ion Implanter, as it is called, is my new guinea pig. I am assisting my colleague to sort the issues out with the system.

The last few days of oct'09 was fruitful, I got some interesting results on my solar cell process and hence I was contented. The icing on the cake being, I could convince my professor to a new experiment, which I hope to commence by first week of November.
Perhaps the idle days at the start of this month had made me a bit annoyed and hence frustrated. It seemed to me as if I was directionless. Not knowing what to do next brought in those fears of an impending storm. This anxiety may have eventually transfigured into a chaotic state of mind.The inability to convince myself that Patience, and Optimism are two essential components in research also added to my woes.

At Home:

Oct'09, I had been to Trivandrum twice. Dusshera holidays gave me enough time to plan for a trip home. I had a great time home with my dear ones. Not a speck of dissatisfaction. I came back to IIT on Oct 5, '09. Coming back from home is always an emotional ordeal.
Oct 13, '09 I received a call from home saying that my cousin (not a direct cousin though) had met with an accident at Salem, and passed away.
Sabari was more than cousin to me and my bro. He was our school mate, we used to travel in the same bus, had spend so much time together as kids. He was the one who introduced us to the world of TV video games, he had a 'Balbaro' cricket bat and we used to play with him for so long. In the course of time, we had to go our separate ways, our careers, exams, and all those ensured we couldn't even meet for years. Sitting alone in my hostel room (my roomie went home for diwali), all those images flashed across my mind. I had no one to share my grief with. I was totally down, with tears rolling down my cheek. A state of numbness ensued and the realization that I could not go down to attend the funeral pained me. Two days went by, thinking about the state of mind, the near and dear of his family would be in. I couldn't take it anymore, and I asked my professor whether I could go home for a couple of days, who was more than willing to give me the permission. I called up my dad, and expressed my desire to come down. He too agreed, and finally, I managed a flight via Bangalore to Trivandrum on Oct 16 '09. From the airport, my brother picked me up and we went directly to Sabari's house. I met up with his mother, and she was inconsolable on seeing me. The recollection of the same fills my eyes with tears.
Having spent the next three days visiting Sabari's house, I realized it was time for a some piece of mind. I needed to gather myself, and put my thoughts in perspective. I couldn't go back to Mumbai with so much trauma going through my mind. I had a couple of days up in my sleeve. I spend the last two days of my stay at home with my parents and talking to them really eased me out. My return ticket was scheduled for Oct 21 '09.

Back in Mumbai; From Oct 22, '09 I got deeply involved in my work. I was putting in extra effort to get myself in shape, and my efforts were proving successful. Success is always a receipe for lifting your spirits. A couple of highly successful endeavours lifted my spirits, and here I am blogging about my state of mind.

The Great Indian Search

2009-10-04T18:15:00.002+05:30

A week back, I got a message from a friend. It read "I got engaged". Bemused, I rubbished it as one of those prank messages. My logical mind insisted that the veracity be confirmed. Hence I decided to call him. I called him, but he was not answering. I tried again, and the response was the same. After an hour, he called back. I was driving the car. I stopped, and picked up his call. I asked him, "Are u engaged?". He replied,"yes". I asked him to divulge more details, and then we spoke for another ten minutes. The fact of the matter was, he got engaged to a girl, who he knew for quite long(since school). It was a shocking piece of information, because none of his friends, including myself, never heard him mention such a girl or any girl for that matter. My Best wishes to my dear friend.

My brother turned 26, this July.Employed with a multinational networking company, he earns a decent salary. Sounds like a matrimonial ad,doesn't it? My parents have embarked on a mission to find a prospective bride for my brother. The search parameters have been shortlisted, and the search is in its 'beta' stage. A couple of prospective alliances came over, but the ever problematic, astrological match took its toll. The alliances came from relatives and well wishers, and hence technically the search was confined to a restricted 'database'. As the days progress the search will expand to a huge database, and the task more daunting. Yesterday, as part of this exercise, we(me,my bro and mother) had to search for a profile in a matrimonial website. The profile was viewed and it hit the astrological roadblock. We moved on,and performed a search based on the 'parameters' . It yielded, some 1500 profiles,with photos and details. While browsing through various profiles, the thought dawned on me. How do we identify a person for this enormous list, and my brother will have spend the rest of his life with her? It is an extremely complicated search. A whole range of external factors come into the purview. I told my mother about my dilemma and she retorted, "it is indeed a tough job, but there is no other go". I told her not to bother me with this, when my time comes.

I have been a proponent of arranged marriage for some years now. 'Arranged' as per my definition excludes the 'stage managed' arranged marriages (rebellion at home in order to marry the girl/guy whom you loved). This is strictly my personal take on it, and I do not intend to hurt anyone. The tiresome nature of the above mentioned exercise made me wonder, whether I was endorsing the right thing. I still believe, it is the duty of the parents to find the right match for their children. After all, they have earned that right. The first two paragraphs contradicts itself, and it is this contradiction that baffled me. If I go the traditional way, I will have to go through a long search routine, and If I break free of the tradition, the search would be far less 'painful'. Is it that a wiser mind (older mind) takes more time to arrive at a conclusion than a younger mind?

I leave it to you dear readers to post your comments on the same.

However, the search continues...................

Random Thoughts

2009-09-20T18:26:00.004+05:30

Many of my friends, during their college days longed for a chance to stay away from home. Many envied the guys who used to stay in hostels. Hostels, as they put it was the ideal place to lead their own life in their own way. It has been an year since graduation, and I still maintain a healthy relation with most of my friends. The voices which always longed for freedom has subsided. The prospect of spending a week at home enthralls them, more than anything. Many are longing for a transfer back to their home town. The reason being "Home Sweet Home".

Over the last one year I have been away from home for over 7 months now. I spend each day thinking of when can I go home and spend some time with my parents. I lost the job at Siemens, the only positive I took from it was, the very fact that I could spend sometime with my parents at home. Might sound preposterous, but i mean it. It was four jobless months, and my parents often bore the brunt of my depression and wild mood swings. They were inspiring, supportive and kept me going. My parents were happy that I was staying with them for so long, after a gap of 3.5 months.

I had an interesting telecon with one of my friend, a practicing lawyer here in Mumbai. He was wondering when can he spend his time doing nothing like those days during our summer vacations in school. Watching movies, reclining on the couch. He plans to write a book and perhaps if it clicks, he would quit his job and spend his time at home on his 'couch'. The message is pretty clear. It is neither laziness, nor love for easy money. It is the longing for those days of 'bliss and solitude' . Those were the days, when we were all free birds. No tensions(except for those exams), no big thoughts, no humongous responsibilities.The thought process, might seem very comfy, or to rephrase, a longing for an easy life with no hard work. It has nothing to do luxury, nor a longing for easy money. The point in contention is that the best days of our life has gone by, and we are all now part of this fiercely competitive world.

My brother has moved to Chennai as part of his job, and I am in Mumbai. My parents have fallen into those category of parents who have both their children away in different places. News of my brother or me coming home for leave makes them happy. After all, I believe these are those little moments of happiness that we as sons or daughters can give our parents.I had some plans for going to Bangalore to visit my friends during the first week of October. My mother asked me, if you can come to Bangalore, why can't you come to Kerala. I was in dilemma. I had to make a decision. After days of deliberation I decided in favor of my parents.

I had been home for onam for about ten days. I came back to work at Mumbai, and the very next day I called my parents and told, when shall I come again. Maybe I am home sick or whatever you may call it. Now I have booked my tickets to go home again on the 25th of September for another ten days.

Yipee!!!Home Sweet Home

College Reunion

2009-09-09T17:41:00.008+05:30

Dear All,
This is my third mail in a span of one month regarding the reunion. It has been disheartening that some of you didn't even show the courtesy to reply.
'Senti' apart, I wish to remind you that the farewell in all likelihood can take place either on 4th September or 5th September. Will Sent an invitation mail stating the venue and further details by the end of this month.
Hope you are all doing good.
Hope to meet you all soon.

This was the mail I had sent to my batch mates on August 4,2009. The lack of response to my previous mails had coerced me into using the tried and tested methodology, "Senti". The response was far better this time around. Numerous phone calls, group sms 's etc were made to reach out to the 65 odd students of GECB, EC 04-08. The turn out on the d- day was a paltry 16, 15 guys and one girl.

To quote a friend, "Reunions are a forum to show off how much you have attained since graduating". The comment, though debateable, was one of the reason for a lower turnout; other being the busy work schedule. My frustration over the minimal attendance, has resulted in me starting on a negative note.

September,4,2009.

I spoke to couple of my friends enquiring whether they would turn up. I ended every call on the same note, "even if nobody turns up, we can meet, after all it has been an year".

September,5,2009

Kanakakkunnu Palace, Trivandrum was the proposed venue. The scheduled time was 12.30pm. I reached the place at 12.40pm, late as always. I parked my bike and walked to the palace, and on the way, I met four of them. We got together, the chatting and the pleasentaries ensued. We were waiting for the rest of the lot (though we were not sure who all would be coming). One by one they started trickling in, and the attendance crossed my anticipation of 10. There were more coming and finally we were 16. A sense of achievement dawned on me. This number was far beyond my expectation.We spent some time at the palace grounds talking about our work, hair loss and weight loss (I seriously believe hair loss is an issue intriguing the younger generation now).

Time was flying by and we were hungry. We had to decide on a place. Sindhoor palace, came up, but was rejected. Taj, Park Rajadhani too came up, but was rejected too. We wanted to be in a place where all of us could sit together and eat. Going for a buffet would mean just the opposite. After lot of discussion we decided to move to Hotel Indrapuri, at Vazhuthacaud.

At Indrapuri we demanded that we could all sit together. They agreed to make the necessary arrangements. Little did we expect them to arrange a table in the 'BAR'. We were confused on whether to take the place or not. There were objections to the idea, but we could convince them quite easily. Ramya, the lone girl, and many others perhaps had their first experience of having lunch from a Bar.(Reminds me of the words from Malyatoor's Verukal, "Pattar pattapakal patta adichu!!!"). Ordering the food was next on the agenda and Jikku took the onus. He would shout the name of the dish and we would raise our hands like school children. It was more than half an hour before the food was served. We had lots to talk about, and finally the food arrived. It was already 2.30pm and we ate like pigs. We had finished our meal, and ordered juices. Then came, Vivek, who had took the effort of driving all the way from Kollam to Trivandrum just to attend this reunion. Kudos to his commitment.
We settled the bill and moved out. At the exit we posed for more photos, bid farewell and left the hotel.

This was a reunion which may serve as a launching pad for more such reunions in the coming years. We had delibrated on the feasibilty of a yearly reunion, but nothing came of it. One keynote about reunions is, it can be an ice breaker. It can act a forum wherein our old grudges can be laughed off. Over the years we may get more busy with our work and stuff, but the fact remains that the memories can't fade off. I am looking forward to arranging more such reunions in the upcoming years.

Time for a Revamp??

2009-08-19T14:47:00.003+05:30

This is an excerpt from the letter I have sent to an uncle of mine, who is a senate member at Kerala University. I need you to comment on it, raise your opinion on the same. Put in your thoughts for revamping the system.
"

Hello Uncle,

I am currently at IITB and my stint here has left me pondering on the flaws in the system back home in Kerala. I would like to bring to your notice two very important facets of the students across various Universities in India(Kerala being an exception)

1) The students across universities like Mumbai,Pune etc have the provision of 3 month internships at various places of their choice

2) Our syllabus is more focused on giving tidbits of information on a plethora of subjects, and hence the fundamentals are often compromised for. My syllabus for engineering covered such a wide range of topics, ranging from electronics and communication systems. I can't claim expertise on either.

This is not just a one off opinion, I guess many students would vouch for the same.

I think the time is ripe for fine tuning the technical education system in Kerala.Changing the syllabus every five years will do no good. Our syllabus doesn't even incorporate the latest trends in the field of technology like nanoelectronics etc while many private universities are offering dual degree programs on the same.

I can suggest some valid points on the same. Most of the companies spend huge chunks of cash for training the new recruits. A plausible alternative could be,the recruit should be given a 3 month internship with the company,which could double as a training as well as an academic requirement.

Being a senate member at the Kerala University, I believe you can take up this cause and go for a wider discussion regarding the same in the senate."

Swine Flu!!!

2009-08-12T17:15:00.006+05:30

There has been too much talk regarding this over the last few days. The media frenzy on one side, and the indiscriminate comments from the Union Health Minister fueling the tension in the air. Lot has been talked about. Websites, and media trying to rope in on the chaos to earn extra bucks.,the mask dealers selling the masks at exorbitant rates, exemplifies the commercialization of calamities.

The rate at which the disease is spreading is indeed alarming. Instead of insisting on basic first aid, the Government should enact some law, that prohibits mass assembly of people. An air borne disease is impossible to control, until you eliminate the chances of contamination. It is my best guess that government is trying their very best to downplay this, in order to eliminate mass panic. (As I type this, I can hear people coughing!!!). The efforts of the government is undermined by the media, who has done a great deal to spread mass panic. I could see many people wearing face masks and covering their face with handkerchief, not to mention that it doesn't help, but in creates more insecurity to the people around.

One interesting fact is, more people die of hunger, cardiac arrest, dengue fever, malaria etc. Neither the media, nor the government's around the world has taken concerted measures to tackle these. I have downplayed the rapid emergence of health clubs over the last few years. Since it is the lower class who is at the receiving end, the media too is not bothered. This neglected lot have no voices, and the deaths do not even get reported.

An alarming trend is emerging in this modern world. The profit or long term benefits is what keeps one going. The misfortune of one is a route to another man's fortune. The medical industry has been thriving on this for sometime. There are unreported incidents of hospitals, performing needless operations on patients to thwart money. One can't blame the doctor for it. If he doesn't achieve his "business" target, he will be fired. Am I being a socialist? Yes, I maybe one, but I am not a communist. I have started believing in collaborative growth. A process wherein the standard of living is improved for all. A marginal improvement would mean a lot to the needy and hungry.

Flu or no flu, I hope the media and the government realizes that many people lose their lives owing to the hunger, malaria etc. The idea of a collaborative growth should take the center stage in this modern world. There has to be a sea change in our attitude. Think over it. Be an agent of change!!!

PS:
I don't know whether any flu virus has gone into my body. I despise going to hospitals.

"We are not Friends, We are known by an institution"

2009-08-05T07:25:00.000+05:30

Much needed revival for my dwindling creativity. Thanks to my buddy's gtalk status message. Weekend's in Mumbai has been a harrowing experience. Spending the weekends in the confines of the walls of your hostel room made it worse. Last week was an exception. I called upon my schoolmates to come over to IIT campus. Sandeep Mathew Jolly, Bimal, Varun and Kiran; they came and we went to various parts of mumbai including the 'hot spot', Bandra-Worli sea link. I don't intend to elaborate on this weekend experience, but on certain subtleties that cropped during our chit chat sessions.

"It is always a heartening experience, spending time with Loyolites", said Jolly.

Yes, It was indeed one hell of an experience.This brings me back to the point in contention, are we known by our institution? Are we not friends?
Loyola was the heaven that brought as all together. The emotional bonding between loyolites is so deep rooted that we never think of as friends, but 'Loyolite'. Any Loyolite can vouch for this fact. No matter how far we are, We always bear the same affection we had during our school days. A trivial word like friend can never summarize this association.

"It has been quite sometime since we ran", said Kiran

Yes he was right. I guess maybe way back in school. A stark deviation from the title. Kiran, Jolly and Varun started running along the worli sea face, stating this reason. Lazy as always, me and Bimal waited and watched the scene. A stark realization of the fact that our childhood days are up. Of course, they were gasping for breath and hence we got three bottles of Mineral Water, and one bottle of Gatorade, and took rest for 15 minutes. It makes me wonder, are we losing the never ending battle with time.

Sitting at Nariman Point facing the sea, we were talking about investments, career goals and stuff.

Our chitchats have outgrown those days of trivialities (were they????) to more serious issues like investments, career prospects and future. Don't conclude that we are a group of gay morons!!!.

It was indeed a memorable day in my life, and perhaps the best weekend I had. Of course, the day ended on a bad note for me. I couldn't get down at my station, owing to the crowded train even at 11pm on a Sunday. Had to shell out 50Rs to the rickshaw walla to take me back to campus.

PS:
We have decided to meet at least once a month. Muhahahaha!!!!!!!!!

In Solace

2009-07-20T16:42:00.007+05:30

IIT, Powai, one would be mesmerized by the co-existence of technology and environment. On one side you have the captivating, Powai Lake and the ineluctable Sanjay Gandhi National Park as the other boundary (Lake Side and hill side, as it is called here). Despite being from a state renowned for its greenery, I was taken aback by the amount of greenery in campus, despite being at the heart of the city. Once inside this sprawling campus, one wouldn't feel he is in Mumbai. No wonder IITB has produced some of the greatest minds in the country (drawing parallels with Buddha having an enlightenment under the bodhi tree).

Being a Research Fellow, I am provided free accommodation and food is charged at Rs 38/- per day. I have access to the library, and permitted to take 7 books at a time. To cut a long paragraph short, I have all the paraphernalia required to lead a comfortable life here. I have the study materials, access to top guns of the Electrical Engg. Dept, access to nano fabrication and microelectronics labs. The realization, of being in the best technical institute in the Country dawned on me. I have now embarked on a knowledge empowering mission. The more i try to learn on a subject, the more I realize how little I know. I have made up my mind to attend lectures on topics of my choice (after discussions with the Prof's concerned) and empower myself.

We are happy when we do something we always wanted to do. I thoroughly enjoy my time here (most of it working). The prospect of working round the clock thrills me (now). Everyday is a new learning experience. I am at peace with myself. I doubt, whether I have fallen into the big league of IITian's (point of contention!!!). I sincerely hope that I don't loss this enthuse that keeps me going now, after all those debacles in life. This is what I always wanted to do in life. Work on real stuff, rather than just sitting in front a computer. I may come in for lot of flack from the IT professionals for my last statement. Being an electronics engineer, I was driven into the software field by chance and not choice. Siemens, though had offered a job which had some semblance to my graduation. The only thing I miss here is the meticulous life of the corporate world. I think I can adjust for the time being.;-). I have embarked on a quest to acquire knowledge. Let us see how far I would go.

As I have reiterated at various points in my blog, this blog is an assimilation of my thoughts. One fine day, I can come back to this blog and trace the course of the evolving thought process. My view points over certain issues might get refined over time and can lead to certain contradictions here and there, but the basic principles in life doesn't.

PS: I wanted to open my account for this month. It was a torture writing this post. My imaginative mind seems to have taken a back seat for now. Makes me wonder, Am I evolving into an IIT product???

Curse of the DVD-RW !!!!

2009-06-24T18:53:00.004+05:30

A rewritable DVD as a gift to that very special someone!!!..Sounds hilarious, but true. 'Token of love', a previous entry in this blog, had dwelled about a gift meant for someone special. This memorable token was nothing but a Moserbaer DVD-RW. Kudos to the protagonist. Well, let us call this protagonist, Mr. M.

Mr. M, always worried about the practicality of things, decided to gift his beloved, the gift she yearned for so long, a pen drive. Like Mr. M, she too was utilitarian (Like minded, huh!!!). There was a complication, for both of them. Money was his issue, and parents were her problem (as if his parents had permitted him to do so!!!). He raised the issue with her, and asked a hypothetical question, 'Assuming that he arranges the finance, how would she manage to explain the genesis of a pen drive out of the blue, to her parents'. She had no clue on how to go about it, and sought time to think over it.

Days passed by, she was still in dilemma. Adding to their woes, was their straight forwardness. Neither had the courage to lie to their parents. After days of introspection, they decided to drop the plan for a pen drive. They came to a conclusion,the same purpose can be served by a DVD-RW, and itwas well within his budget. Rest is history. (If you want to know more, kindly read the post "Token of Love").

The Token of Love, stayed in cupboard for so long. Everytime, he saw it, memories of those days would flash across his mind, but never evoked any emotional response. It was not a soveniur anymore. He decided to remove this DVD-RW from his cupboard, but how?.

It was one of those, when he visited his friends at their office. A team of four was successfully running a software company. Somewhere along the conversation, they had mentioned about an immediate need for a DVD-RW for transferring data. He offered to give them the DVD-RW, which they gracefully accepted. They knew the need for him to part away with it, and hence they were more than happy to help him out.

Week passed, and Mr.M having been busy with some personal issues, couldn't find ample time to drop in at his friend's office. One day, he got a call from his friend asking him to come down to their office. My friend sounded a bit off colour, the vibrance was missing in his voice. He conjured that something was wrong. He reached their office, and found that there were only three of them. One of them had left the company owing to some differences with the rest. The story doesn't end here. My friend had met with an accident the very same day, he gave him the DVD. He was carrying it home, when his scooter slipped. The case(plastic case) of the DVD-RW had developed a crack owing to the accident and it was lying on the table.

Mr. M commented, "This is nothing but the curse of the Rewritable DVD". Bursts of laughter ensued, and there was smiles all around.

FYI:

Jinxed or not, my friend still has the DVD-RW and the company is running successfully.

First Days at IITB

2009-06-20T17:21:00.002+05:30

I joined IITB as a junior research fellow on 17th june 2009.The sweltering heat of Mumbai and the extremely humid conditions (owing to the dark clouds looming the back drop) welcomed me there.Adding to my woes was the sheer magnitude of the campus. Having spent four years of my life in a 5 acre campus, where I could go from one corner to another in less than 10 minutes, the size of this campus was appaling. The greenery in the campus was in sharp contrast to what prevailed in the city.

I had to go to the Electrical Engineering Department, and standing at the main gate, little did i realise that I had cover some ground to reach my destination. It was a long walk, and by the time I reached my destination, I was dripping in sweat. I had to complete my joining formalities and hence more long walks ensued, shuttling across departments. Much more was left to be done, and I was informed that this process would take a couple of days.

The microelectronics lab, where I had to work was humungous and modern one. There are almost all facilities that i had learned in my VLSI course during graduation and add to that many facilities like nanofabrication and stuff. The prospect of working in a high tech lab enthused me. I wanted to get my hands on those equipments, but there was hurdle. I had to clear a test, to get access to the lab. A mandatory procedure for anyone who need to use the lab facilities. I had to take a course on Basic Clean Room procedures and General safety and give the test. The criteria for pass is a 100% accuracy. I took my test on 18th June, but couldn't get the desired accuracy level of 100% and hence was adviced to take it again next day. So finally, i gave my test yesterday, hope to secure the elusive 100%.

My mentor,Prof Anil K, a stalwart in the field of Microelectronics, gave a briefing on the area of work on 18th June. The 45 min session was one among the best lectures I had attended all this while. His subject knowledge and the ease with which he drove home the complex concepts was simply mind blowing. Yesterday, I had an one on one session with him, wherein he gave exact instructions on what and how to do. The salary and perks offered by this one year long project is not something one would die for. The amount of knowledge one can acquire working on such a research project is quite astounding. Hands on experience on IC fabrication is not an opportunity that comes your way too often.

I am looking forward for a fruitful learning experience at IIT. Hope to continue blogging, whenever i find time.

Before you take the plunge

2009-06-14T12:05:00.003+05:30

Mistakes are the portals of discovery

--James Joyce

An year back, my mother insisted that I go for higher studies than a job. The perks, and the brand value of the company I was placed in, ensured that, I turned a deaf ear to her words. Over the last four months, I had lots of time for introspection. I was analyzing the various judgmental errors I had made over the past year and half.

I realize that joining Siemens was not a mistake, but it was my perceptions then that was totally out of place. I am listing down the major flaws in my judgment

Vague picture on the pyramidal structure of company hierarchy.
A couple of years of experience within an organization= MTech /MS/MBA

These flaws do have a significant amount of correlation between them.

When you are one among the many hired by a company, don't forget that the company is not bothered about you but the group as a whole. As a BTech/BE graduate you are nothing more than a needle in a haystack. You are at the bottom of the pyramid. With experience comes an increment in salary but a promotion within the organization does take time. If you are lucky enough, and talented you may get promoted to the next level (I hope you have seen the italicized words). At Siemens (my former employer), the first promotion would have taken a minimum of three years, though your salary would have increased substantially by then (Thanks to global financial crisis,Salary Increment is history). You would always be on the firing line,project interviews, yearly reviews is the order of the day. It can prove to be too stressful on many an occassion. The driving point here is you need to better equipped than the rest.

How do you acquire better skill sets?

I am not a career adviser, still I can give a few tips out of my limited experience.
Take a break from your job, and do a PG or an MBA. Now you may think, i am towing the same line as any other career adviser. The point maybe the same, but always bear in mind, you are at the prime of your learning ability when you are young. Go for it, before it is too late. Once you are done, you will be one or two steps higher on the pyramid, when you join the same/another company for a job, where as others will be reeling at the bottom.

Most of my friends who are employed at top notch companies have expressed resentment over the lack of job satisfaction, whenever they have called me. Some even went to the extent of seeking advice on how life is like if they quit/lose the job. The matter of fact is none of them are willing to despise their staggering 5 digit salaries and toil again for a new lease of life. Well, I can say it really needs courage and boldness. Given the chance, I too would have gone my friend's way, but their was no choice for me. Chance and not choice had determined my destiny. The crux being, you got a life to live, and why are you wasting it by doing something you don't want to do?

Well, my dear friend, I have given you some pointers on how your career path can be shaped. The onus is on you. After all, "Freedom is not worth having unless you have the freedom to make mistakes"--M K Gandhi.

FYI:

Thanks to the almighty, I have found a career path in research and development (As a research fellow at IITB). It is a dream come true, and I can't express the sense of satisfaction I feel now, despite being offered a 4 digit salary. Hope I have a fruitful stint at IIT.

In the footsteps...

2009-06-05T07:21:00.005+05:30

Nikola Tesla, had over 300 patents filed in his name in different countries. Until recently, Tesla meant nothing more than an SI unit of magnetic flux density (Pardon my ignorance!!!). The Movie, Prestige, starring Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman, was an eyeopener. Nikola Tesla, credited with invention of path breaking Alternating Current and many other marvels. Like any other young engineer, I was inspired by his ingenuity , the mystery that shrouds him intrigued me.

Siemens Information Systems Ltd (SISL), my first employer too was an organization with a reputation for innovation. My tenure lasted for just over three months, after which, I was shown the door citing Global economic crisis as reason. Having had an history of narrow escapes from catastrophes like the December 26th Tsunami, and the 26/11 Mumbai terror attacks, this was an exception.

After completing two months of training at SISL, Mumbai, I landed in Bangalore on December 20, 2008 to join SISL, Bangalore on 22nd December.New office, new surroundings, new people. I was posted to the Embedded Systems Group along with nine others under Shitij Sah, Project Manager, SISL. Mr. Sah, had completed 11 years of meritorious service at SISL, and he was my (our) mentor in office. In the days that followed he briefed us on the domain of work and provided us lots of documents to read. The reading session turned out to be quite an ordeal and often ended up in a game of minesweeper or Virtual Stock Exchange (no wonder they kicked us out!!!!). A couple of weeks passed, and Mr. Sah called us for a meeting, the agenda being briefing him on what we had learned. The meeting went smoothly , and he truncated the session asking us to come up with some innovative examples based on what we had learned.

Back at my desk, I recalled a statement by a dear friend, "Thinking is an easy task". I took out a sheet of paper, made a list of the topics I had read. I put the pen down and stared at the paper. It was a refreshing experience, similar to solving a jig saw puzzle, the difference being, this was a puzzle construed out of core technologies. A crazy thought came to mind, and started typing it out on the computer. A word document spanning half a page was composed. I sent the document as an attachment to Mr. Sah, and I left office early. It was a Friday.

Monday Morning, back in office. A surprise was in store. I turned on the computer and opened my inbox. . Mr. Sah had sent CC of a mail he had sent to the IP Department, which asked for considering the concept (my word doc) as an invention report. A series of mails followed (all were CC's), and finally I was called onto Mr. Sah's desk. I was asked to keep mum on the events that were unfolding. He asked me to fill up a Patent Application form. Filling up the application form was a painful exercise. I had to write pages about the invention, adding to the woes. Days of extra work followed, and eventually on 14th January 2008, I completed the application form and it was mailed to IP department, by Mr. Sah. On 15th January 2008, I got an acknowledgement slip from the IP Department stating that the application has been filed. I was on cloud nine. It was a moment of personal satisfaction and pride.

Despite all the sincere effort and hardwork none of us were spared, when the order of layoff was issued. No regrets, though. Recalling words of consolation offered to close friend by an acquaintance of his, "Don't worry, Siemens has a lost a talent".

Mr. Tesla, behold,here I come. One patent filed, 299 to go...hehe

First Anniversary

2009-06-03T20:50:00.002+05:30

Change is the only constant .
"Will you stop talking on the phone and have your dinner?", my mother used to shout at me. Those were the days when my mobile phone would be buzzing with activity. Those were the days when I had a group of friends coming over to my place for combined study sessions. Those were the days of late night messages and chatting. Those were the days when I was blindfolded by love. Those were the days.....

It has been an year since I left college. Lot of things have changed. My outlook, perception, apprehension, thought process has seen a drastic change. The last one year has equipped me with the right tools to face an aggressive, in-compassionate world. The dark days reinvigorated my thought process and cemented my beliefs and ideologies. I am no more a pessimist, optimism has driven away any tad of pessimism that was in me during my college days. Those days, I always feared the worst, be it, attending a practical examination or on the eve of publication of result.Hence, I used to frequent the temples and try to attain solace and peace of mind. The tide has turned now, I have realized the essence of 'true faith' (my take on true faith can be read from a previous post) and hence I am no more a pessimist.

My friend circle 'was' quite an enormous one. Time has proved that it was a fallacy, and has separated the wheat from the chaff. A handful of ever reliable and dependable friends, that is what my treasure-trove is left with. They don the cap of my mentors and critics. Hats off to my dearest friends.
'A broken friendship can be soldered but will never be sound', a fact I realized over the past one year (refer to my earlier post "Token of love", if you are not a regular follower of the blog).

I was always apprehensive about leaving home and staying in a new place. I despised staying in hostels and dormitories. As part of the training program for my job, I had to leave the comfort of my home and head for Mumbai. Two months of training aimed at molding a corporate from a college grad. The initial couple of days was stressful having to mingle with a whole bunch of new people from various parts of the country. My roommate too was a guy from Bangalore, who was quite friendly and we got along well. The apprehensions flew off, as the training programs gained momentum. Thanks to the countless group tasks.
Quite contrary to what I have been at home, I visited places in Mumbai, and every weekend would be marked by a trip to a tourist spot. I had a lucky escape from the 26/11 terror attacks, thanks to our local train, which left the station 10 minutes before the attack commenced, much to the anxiety of my parents.Those were testing times for me, moments of chaos and anxiety.
The tenure in mumbai ensured that my inhibitions took a back seat. I grew beyond the realm of being a Keralite into an Indian, who could accept the wide cultural and regional diversity of my country.

My tenure in Bangalore was a fruitful one, yet I witnessed the black day in my career, thanks to the global economic recession. The lack of colour, and the routine nature of the days in office reminded me of the sweet days in college. I was missing it perhaps for the first time since college, but I felt helpless. I wondered whether this routine would make me numb. I always felt out of place in office. I pondered on whether I had come to the wrong place. Then came the layoff. I was caught unawares.

Days of trauma followed the layoff. I was staring at darkness. Two months had passed by until I had learned to live with the harsh reality. Now, I wonder, why was I upset over losing a job which never gave me a tad of satisfaction ? The profound damage to my ego (prospect of being unemployed) had driven me to the point of exasperation. No more egos or the like haunts me anymore. I feel like a free soul, and have the freedom to decide what I want to do in life (kudos to my parents, who in no way pressurize me into securing a job).

I firmly believe, what ever has happened to me has been for my good. I feel I have become a better person than an year ago. The one thing I miss now, is my friends, who have gone places owing to their job requirements.

Before I wind up, I am jotting down the proverb that i firmly believe now:

A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.

PS:
One year down the lane, I may write another similar post. My view points would have changed further by then. This blog has been more like a personal diary for me, A collection of my evolving thought process.

Resurgence of the India Voter

2009-05-17T21:13:00.007+05:30

Hearty congratulations to Dr. Manmohan Singh, and Sonia Gandhi, for the thumping results in the General Elections.

The segmented Indian voter has given a clear mandate against the secularist, and narcissistic forces of the country. Is the Indian voter truly segmented?. Does the dalit appeasement work?.

The changing face of the voter was evident in the initial phase of the campaigning wherein people from rural India were raising their voices against the demi gods of their constituency. There were instances of villages threatening to boycott the elections due to lack of development. The writing was clear on the wall, vote bank politics would take a hit.

General elections 2009, saw the resurgence of the grand old party. The electoral bashing of the regional parties and the opportunistic alliances, the third and the fourth fronts clearly pin points to the emerging face of the voters. Like all elections, there was enough drama in this one too. The shoe throwing incidents, Varun Gandhi hate speech, black money, and mud slinging to name a few.Seems like most of these factors worked in favor of the congress, despite being at the receiving end on more than one occasion. It is quite clear that the pivotal issue in this election was Development, which not many parties realised. They embarked on a flawed election strategy based on the tried and tested formula of divisive politics.

What turned it around for the UPA?

Analyzing the electoral trends across various states, one tends to identify the two decisive forces, were a State Government high on a development agenda, or a Newly instated State Government. The states of Gujarat, Andra Pradesh, Maharastra, Orissa, Madhya Pradesh,New Delhi and Bihar corroborates the former argument, while the states of Rajasthan, Haryana, Karnataka, J&K ratifies the latter point. The left parties recorded their worst ever performance in the elections owing to anomalies in their policies and an ego centric leader. To large extent the failure of the left parties can be attributed to their central leadership. The people were forced to believe that many reforms brought in by the UPA government could not see light owing to the left parties. The left was seen as a thorn in the flesh of the erstwhile UPA, and they have paid for it. Their performance in their bastions, WB and Kerala needs special mention. In WB, they refrained Buddhadeb Bhattacharya from pursuing his policies, while in Kerala, they neglected VS Achuthanadan's pro people stand (arguable to some extent!!) and has paid the prize for it. The press conference's by the two CM's authenticate my claim. The WB CM was critical at the central leadership's anti-congress stand and the Kerala CM was all smiles at the electoral bashing, and his body language suggested that his stand was vindicated.

UP, the home turf of the SP and BSP, the key state as was suggested by all the news channels turned upon it head. The ground gained by the Congress, still baffles the BJP, BSP and the SP alike. The SP openly endorsed that the presence of a pre poll coalition with the congress could have swept the BSP away. The BJP, still groping in the dark to find a reason for their electoral bashing, blaming Varun Gandhi for his extremist comments which seems to have driven away the muslim votes. After all, How could they have expected to receive the muslim votes by endorsing on a hindutva campaign? The aspirations of Mayawati to become the prime minister too took a hit. Little did she realize that development doesn't come along by building her statues across the state. The state of UP testify Rahul Gandhi's ability as an election strategist. He persuaded the congress to believe that they can go alone in UP, a stand vindicated by the electoral triumph.

The Shoe hurling at the Home Minister as a mark of protest of the Sikh community did create some nerves at the congress headquarters before the elections. The congress had switched to damage control mode and revoked the candidature of the person in question. However the people of Punjab proved that the lack of good governance at the state was the core issue than their sentiment against the anti-sikh riots of 1984.

In this elections verbal assaults were at an all time high. Advani vs Dr. Manmohan Singh, Narendra Modi vs Priyanka Gandhi to name a few. The people of India has proved who is weak and who is not. Dr. Singh proved once again to the opposition that 'Singh is King'. He seems to be the dark horse. The people of India has reposed faith on this honest and workaholic Prime Minister. He is neither a crowd puller nor an eloquent speaker like Mr. Modi or Mr. Advani, but has the qualification to run this secular country. The party has done away with their dynastic politics by taking charge as Prime Minister in 2004. The endorsement of a democratic setup within the party too has helped in that regard. The congress governments of the past were tainted by the charges of corruption, but the previous UPA saw some of the honest and trusted politicians donning the mantle as Cabinet Ministers. Critics often point that congress is an old man's party. The emergence of Rahul Gandhi, Jyotiraditya Scindia, Sachin Pilot has brought in the much needed youthful exuberance to the party. What really turned it around for the UPA is the NREGA, and the farm loan waiver. A right mix of pro poor and corporate policies helped the party to garner votes from the various sections of the society across caste and party lines.

General Elections 2009, has drawn to a close. The Indian voter has simplified numbers game. This election saw the prime ministerial ambitions of many leaders taking a hit. The beginning of the election season the emergence of many potential king makers. As the season draws to a close, it is evident that there would be no more horse trading or king makers to destabilise the government. I hope a stable UPA government under the leadership of Dr Manmohan Singh can take our country to greater heights.

True Faith

2009-05-05T12:11:00.003+05:30

Stress is indeed too stressful to handle. So like most of us, i too resorted to reading books on spirituality. While skimming through the pages of one such book, I came across a short story. The crux of the story was 'True Faith in God'. This story sparked of an emotional turmoil, and questioned my faith in god.

The story:

An aethist was walking downhill. He slipped, and was falling into a deep gorge. Luckily for him, he caught hold of a twig and was hanging. The man clinged on to his life, and out of his desperation, thought of praying to god.

He said, "My lord, I shall serve you for the rest of my life"

There was no response

He continued,"I shall spread your idealogies for the rest of my life"

No response

He continued further,"Oh Lord, I shall be your firm believer for the rest of my life".

A deafening noise broke the silence, and it said, "Son, I am impressed by your words. I shall help you out".

He said,"Help me, my lord".

The almighty said, "Son, you shall leave your hold on the twig".

Amused and disgusted, he said "I am no fool to do that".

I presume, dear reader that the moral of the story is self explanatory.

@The Aethist Reader:

I suggest you should skip the rest of the article.

In times of distress we turn to the almighty but the extent of our devotion is questionable. We never realise the essence of true faith. We tend to blame fate for whatever happens to us. If we start realising we are part of his script, we can bid adieu to our worries. We can leave everything at his disposal and wait. A point to be clarified here is, you need to do your part and leave the rest on god. If things don't go according to your plan, it simply means the plans are out of synch.

Failures are part of life. Just as there is day and night, there are failures and successes in life. Neither be taken aback by a failure, nor be too thrilled by success. Life hinges on this balance. Realise this divine principle and happiness will be there for the taking.

FYI: I have had a mixed bag of success and failures. I have realised the essence of it and I am at peace now. No more worries or fear of failure haunt me any more.

Who am I ?

2009-04-27T22:55:00.003+05:30

It is not the Jackie Chan movie i am talking about. One of the best things about being unemployed is, you got time at your disposal. Obviously an idle mind is a devil's workshop. I am not quite sure what instigated such a profuse thought on life. The uncertainty and insecurity of my life could have been the driving force. The introspection exercise added to the woes of my already distraught mind. I ended up with more questions than answers.

A foreword to the readers:

I am not a person who has lost interest in life. I have only documented some thoughts which seemed rational to me. Your point of view maybe antagonistic, I have no intention of reorienting your thoughts.

Who Am I?.

I know the logical answer to this query. I seek a spiritual answer; An answer that can convince me, instead of perplexing me further.

The seat of my thought lies in an unknown domain. A domain where no human research can trespass. Is it the key to unraveling the mystery shrouding each and everyone of us?. I can convincingly say that I am also part of the energy cycle. A store house of energy obtained from various sources of energy. What adds to my confusion at this juncture is the law of physics which says, Energy can neither be created nor be destroyed, it can only be recycled. What would happen to the immense amount of energy within me when I die ?. I found no answer. A scientific research into this aspect may answer it.

The next imposing thought was on the lines of the purpose of my life. Why does mother nature need me or for that matter anyone of us?. This has been the most baffling question. Even many days of introspection didn't seem to clear the air. A glitch in the thought process could have resulted in this. I seek an answer from you.

Forget the imbroglio, lot of things came through. If the concept of recycling of energy is inapplicable to humans, it means we have only one life (keeping in view the concept of rebirth). In this single life, you should do what pleases your mind the most ,subject to laws of the society. Violation of the social order can lead to a not so rosy 'life'. The point I wish to convey here is, you should bear this in my mind while making consolidated decisions on your life, like career, marriage, buying a house etc.

What is the need for a career, marriage etc needs to be deliberated though.

I think I have confused you enough for now. Take a break now. Come again later to read more scintillating articles.

Preview of my Book

2009-02-21T20:35:00.003+05:30

February 5^th,2009

Thursday

Time: 2.05pm

There was pin drop silence in the conference room. He looked around him. There were faces of gloom, some were sobbing, some looked pale, and some had a smile on their face. He was smiling but deep down he was bleeding at heart. He felt as if he was pushed into an illimitable crater. Couple of minutes back he was smiling and was spreading smiles. He tried to recollect the sequence of events in the last couple of minutes.

“We are Separating”, said the senior manager. Those words blew the winds out of them. They were powerful enough to restructure the careers of 150 of them. The manager elucidated on the impact of recession and the global meltdown on the company. He looked around him. He saw faces of horror, eyes were all red, some were crying while some looked shocked beyond disbelief. He felt it was the most harrowing experience he has ever had till date. He could hear his breath rising. He was dying to get out of the conference room.

The management had made their point and the baton was passed onto them to pose queries. There was a huge hue and cry. He heard one of his friend, asking “Can't you retain us with half of our existing pay?” Smiles spread on the faces of those tattered souls. Someone else said. “Are there any chances of a recall?” He heard the management countering most of the queries with an emphatic 'NO'. The session eventually turned out to be a mere formality with the management winning over the employees. Now, it was the time for instructions. They gave precise instructions on what needs to be done with their Identity cards and the like, and graciously left the room.

For the complete article await the completion of the book I am writing. What I have posted here is the first page of the book. Sorry to arouse the curiosity. After all that is how people sell products.

The Book deals mainly about relationships and friendships. It will certainly be an enthralling experience. I plan to release the book in about two months. Looking forward to that proud moment. Signing off for now.

Token of love

2008-09-29T21:51:00.006+05:30

He had left it in his wardrobe years back.The shine on the plastic wrapper had not faded.It stood out among the ruins of his cupboard.It lay there untouched,like a treasure chest,of bitter yet sweet memories.He neither knew what he had to do with it,nor was he willing to do away with it.

A strong critique,he was, of any kind of relationship with girls,thanks to the orthodox environment he was brought up in.Little did he realise,things were going to turn topsy turvy in a few years.

Things were going his way,when he secured admission to one of the premier institutions in town.He had heard innumerable stories on how people spoil their lives after joining colleges.The fear of the unknown haunted him, but he nourished high hopes of making it big in college.Classes commenced,and amidst all the nerve raking environment of those first few days in college, he was getting used to 'monotonicity' of college life.He found it hilarious to see guys scouting after girls and flirting.As time went by,he was getting used to it.He no longer found it hilarious,but had accepted it as part of college life.The thought of getting closer to any girl never crossed his mind.He despised it.

A few years back, while in school he had met a girl, on whom he had a secret crush. He was neither bold enough to talk to her, nor the thought about the society around him helped his cause. The crush was eventually crushed amidst the tensions of the public exams and entrance examinations. He had a dream and wanted no roadblocks while in pursuit of the dream. After securing admission to the college of his choice, he realised that the crush had lived the testimony of time. The girl was still living in his dreams. He had little or no plans on what needs to be done. It was a totally new avenue for him. Two years into college, he revealed his well kept secret to his close friend, and he expressed his disgust at not being able to do something about it. A few minutes of pep talk from his friend was all it took.He had decided to propose her. His decision defied his own logic, but was elated that he had finally decided to make a move in the right direction(hopefully).

The thought of proposing a girl gave him butterflies in his stomach. He had never talked to any girl personally, but little did he know from where he got the courage from. His friend managed to fix an 'appointment' with the girl using his contacts. The protoganist made some mental calculations, and he knew the most probable answer would be a 'NO'. The much anticipated day arrived. He and his friend arrived at the venue much before time. There was a huge twist awaiting him. He got a call from home asking him to come home for some very urgent work. He had no other go, had to leave almost immediately, entrusting the job of proposing, on his behalf, to his friend. After finishing off his work he called up his friend, who delievered the bad news to him...She had told a 'Big NO'. Not at all surprised, he consoled himself and decided not to nourish the thought anymore. A few weeks went by, he met her in 'Orkut' added her as a friend , and eventually started chatting with her. The chatting sessions evolved from orkut scraps to IM's in yahoo messenger. A friendship was blossoming. She was the same he had expected her to be. She wanted to know why he loved her so much, and loved talking to him. He was on cloud nine, felt as if his dreams were seeing the light of the day. The relationship was going stronger with each passing day. Months went by, they had progressed from IM's to late night SMS's to phone calls to occasional meetings. She was the most precious thing in his life, and he felt she too loved him a lot. Her sentences, and messages coerced him to believe so, though she never gave it away bluntly. He hadn't proposed her officially, but she knew his attitude towards her.Everything went smoothly over the next few months.

Somewhere along their conversation,he had mentioned about proposing her officially, and he realised she wanted some gift from his side.He had never got a gift for anybody all his life, and to a girlfriend, he never knew what to buy.Days of thought and surfing helped him in finding the perfect gift (within his minimal budget). He got the perfect gift for her. He called her up and asked her to decide on a time and place to meet. She sounded indifferent, he sensed something was wrong. She kept postponing the meeting, and he started realising that something was seriously wrong. The number of SMS's was coming down, she was avoiding him. Not knowing what was going around, he decided to ask her. After much compulsion she revealed the issue. It was an 'enlightenment', she realised she was doing the wrong thing by getting close to him, and hence she wanted him out of her life. Her words couldn't convince him logically. He was shell shocked, and she was forbidding him from staying in contact with her and he was blamed for using his 'words' to lure her. A mixed bag of emotions,depression, anger, confusion,never before he was in such a state. His mind was in a whirlpool. His emotional brain had taken charge of him. He begged, pleaded her, to stay in touch. After days of compulsion she agreed to a daily limit of three days, but he was missing her so much. Days of stress made him more emotionally stronger. He told his parents, what had happened. Their words of wisdom too added to the cause.He was growing strong emotionally. As days passed by, he took a firm resolve not to contact her anymore, and decided to end what he had started years back.
He realised what true love is.....The never ending support from parents, even when they know that their children have committed a mistake. There is no other relationship in this world that can surmount it.

The site of the gift no longer hurt him, but everytime it reminded him of the importance of loving his parents. A barrage of thoughts and a smile of glee ensued. Things have fallen apart; the chain of events during that BLIND period in his life triggered a smile. He had realized the triviality of his actions. Suddenly, the door bell rang; he closed the wardrobe, bringing an abrupt end to his thoughts. He moved out of the room. He was still smiling………………..

Calamity implies Political Mileage

2008-09-27T20:01:00.005+05:30

The attempt to gain political mileage out of a national calamity is disdainful.It makes no sense what so ever when the opposition is gunning for the neck of the Home minister,while on the other hand,the HRD minister supports the cause of the Jamia University,to defend its students accused as terrorists.On one side the Govt says they ll come up with tough terror laws,and hence the statement on the part of Mr.Arjun Singh needs to be viewed with suspicion.

A blast occurs, Govt, and political parties condemn it saying 'cowardly act' and so on.It sounds like 'words are all they(I) have to take ur heart away'. Will the people of the country feel comfortable when top leaders condemn terrorism.We all condemn it and is a known fact.Once they finish condemning the blasts,the political games begin.It was quite funny,when a senior member from the BJP made a statement saying the 'blasts were part of a conspiracy to divert attention from cash for votes scam'(i believe it was with reference to Ahemedabad blasts).The party distanced itself from 'her' view point,and it clearly indicated how far politicians would go.Maybe the politicians should stop mud slinging and instead sit together to work out a strategy to root out this evil.

Terrorism, is the menace of the modern world.A cowardly act,against humanity.Innocent lives are lost,many injured.The time is ripe for a 'community policing',like initiative.Finding terrorists from among a hundred thousand people is more like searching for a needle in a hay stack.People have to be alert,and any suspicious activity needs to be reported.It is not only the responsibilty of the police,but we too have a role in it.

Having paid careful attention to the nuances of Indian politics for over a decade,I can say politicians have become more ruthless,in their accusations.There seems to be a leadership crisis in our country.Senior leaders from the congress party suggesting Rahul Gandhi,as Prime ministerial candidate is a clear indication to that front.BJP is facing the worst crisis,having to field a pro-hindutva leader in Advani as PM candidate (no wonder the party has decided to maintain its hindutva agenda).The third front,as the media puts it,had to resort to choosing 'Bahanji' as their leader,in an effort to woo dalit votes (though the left is still beating around the 'bush').The left parties have resolved to an Anti-America campaign.The economic crisis in America should be an example for the Central Govt,says the left.They seem to have grown over the failure of communism in various parts of the world.

The attack on Christians in Kandhamal in Orissa, indicates the growing religious extremism among Hindu's.Action against the Bajrang Dal activists were initiated after the centre evoked article 355 on Karnataka,and Orissa (coincidentally BJP ruled states).The top brass of the BJP,criticized the central govt, for the interference in the affairs of the state.The major concern in this case is the state backed violence,be it the Bajrang Dal,VHP, and of course 'left' organisations in WB,and Kerala

I had started on a simple topic,but seems to have overdone it.All i wish to say is,extremism in whatever forms is the root cause.Hindutva, Jihad,etc fall on the same wavelength.It is high time the younger generation start to think over religious barriers and perhaps work on a peaceful world to live on.We can't change the politicians,but we can indeed make sure that we are not puppets in their hands..
Feels gr8 to have written an unbiased article,on politics..

Finally i answer the big question...!!!!

2008-08-04T21:52:00.005+05:30

The debate over the motion of trust moved by the honorable Prime Minister,say some fiery debates and sharp exchanges.Democracy was for sale,and angels were born.Elected representatives with 'doubtful' credentials coming to the floor of the house with bundles of cash.No wonder CNN-IBN restrained from airing the 'cash for votes' tapes.My allegiance to a particular political party is well know among my friends.
The debate in parliament was on 'Nuclear Deal',and it was quite disdainful to see none except Rahul Gandhi speaking on the nuclear deal.Nuclear Deal had taken a back seat,and the opposition was using the chance to severly criticise the Government which had done a commendable job on the economic front.I dont intend to make a pro-govt lecture here.
Coming back to the debate,Heated exchanges and disruptions were ruling the roost in parliament until our Honourable Railway Minister,Lalooji,spoke.There were smiles in the air,despite him making scathing attack on the opposition.His sense of humour seemed to ease the parliamentarians,and one of his sentences still rings in my ears.,"even i wish to be PM"(cited while scoffing Mayawati,Mr.LK Advani).
Having being born and brought up in a family of hardcore Congress supporters,i always allegiance to the congress party.The inspirational leadership,and will power of Smt.Indira Gandhi always motivated me.My father used to talk about his meeting with Sanjay Gandhi,the historic speech in parliament made by CM Stephen while Indira Gandhi was jailed,and my mother had told about posing for a photograph with none other than Indira Gandhi(the copy of which, is in the possession of her friend).I had idolized them since my childhood days,and hence i still remain a loyal supporter of the party.
I had contested for college union elections twice and i keep my head held high when i say,i was defeated on both the occasions.I did what i was asked to do,from the party leadership.I had contested as the face saving candidate for my party and in that sense,i did my bit for my party.I have no remorse or repentence.I can't be a full time political activist,owing to multitude of reasons.I never contested for grabbing office.My speech as part of 'meet the candidate' was perhaps one of the greatest lows in my life.I was overawed by the support for the opposition,and it was heart breaking to see many of my friends booing me,and trying to put me off.Indeed my oratory skills on that day was way below par,and i still remember standing in front of a bullying crowd like an idiot.Despite that hiccup, and minimal campaigning ,I was delighted to see the number of votes i had received. Thanks to my dear voters,who voted on a losing cause.I had faced numerous scathing remarks from my friends for contesting a losing cause.I was threatened to withdraw from the election by the opposition camp,who threatened and then even offered me their party ticket in the next elections,"Ticket for withdrawal scam"....:D..If college union elections can see such forms of 'rigging',what could be the situation at the corridors of power.
Politics is a game and democracy in India is for sale,even at the grass root level.
This writeup is dedicated to my dear friends who keep asking me why i contested the elections....

Quest for Glory

2008-08-03T08:21:00.005+05:30

Having read numerous detective stories,and short stories,i had always longed to write a book.The question in hand is,short story or detective novel??..:D.After due consideration i thought of writing a crime thriller.So,how do i begin??..
The commercial success of similar novels,inspired me to create a character who solves the puzzles.Maybe i thought,i can write sequels and earn a fortune.I needed a name,something catchy like 'Hercule Poirot' or 'Sherlock Holmes'.I couldn't find any convincing name.The Ramu's, shyamu's,Ravi's etc were inhibiting my thought process.So i put on hold the name issue,and moved on.The next in line was a theme.Murder Mystery; unanimous choice.So one down,and many to go....
I needed a back drop for my story.Should i create something like a 'Malgudi',the indianness in me was becoming the true villian.I remained inconclusive.I had to create many characters and with them names.The journey was becoming more and more tricky.I had no solution to the issues that had cropped up and so i decided to put my quest on hold...Four years had gone by,and the tide hasn't turned ever since.A premature death to my quest for glory..

Lost Love

2008-07-08T21:59:00.005+05:30

Famous Five,Nancy Drew,Hardy Boys....these were the names that thrilled me while i was a kid.I used read over a hundred books a year,until i reached the tenth standard.No one ever tried restricting me until then.Maybe tenth std had its due importance 'then'.My parents enforced a tough restrictions on my reading habits.I was forced to spend more time on tuition's and text books.I really missed those thrilling adventure stories,and was gradually moving into the scientific world.The tenth std board exams went by,i did reasonably well and the results too were satisfactory from my point of view.
Things got worse in 11th and 12th std.It was those never ending days of tuition's,test papers,assignments and what not.Reading a book(i graduated to Agatha Cristie's,& Alistair Maclean's), an absolute luxury for me.I never had time for any,except on vacations.So i was slowly transforming from a voracious reader to a part time reader.
The story was no different,after i joined engineering college.There was a marked difference here.Time was at my disposal,but i believe i had lost the drive to read more.I was spending more time in front of the TV.I wondered whether i had lost my love for books.I was worried,and so was my parents.Things took a paradigm shift last year.I had made a trip to Delhi,and there i found some wonderful collection of books.Angels & Demons,by Dan Brown,The Harry Potter series got me started,and there was no looking back.Books were gradually becoming my companion.I had found my lost love......

U are a Slave

2008-06-27T21:36:00.003+05:30

Before you start reading,I wish to tell you,I am not a radical.My thoughts, at times maybe radical,but I don't dream of changing the society......

'An idle mind is a devil's workshop'.I was expecting to churn out a topic from that 'workshop'.Much to my dismay, I found nothing worthwhile to blog on,until yesterday night.While 'channel surfing',I came across a verse from the Bhagavad Gita,which meant,Everyman is bounded by chains.I pondered on the intricacy of that verse.
"A dog is tied to a chain,while the dog ties us to our home,without a chain".Think about it for a while.I have heard many people saying,they can't leave their house owing to the fact that they can't leave their pet dog unattended.Maybe you too would have come across such situations.You may not like to skip your favourite TV show to attend some function,and many such circumstances.There are people who are slaves to money,alcohol etc.Knowingly or unknowingly we are slaves to something or somebody.We are slaves to societal laws.We tread a familiar path,and anyone going off beat is a pervert in our society.The only people who 'live free', are the ones who have lost their mind.They are not aware of the rising inflation,fuel costs,laws and norms in society etc.They are happy in their world.
There is a thin line between what can be said as a moral obligation,and slavery.In school we are made to sit in a class,with 60 odd students,and forced to take tests,and assignments.Is this slavery??.
We seek permission from parents to go for tours and the like...Is this slavery too??..
I can present a big list of similar situations.So what is slavery??.I don't have a precise answer,but I feel,as long as we believe that we are not bounded to 'chains',we are no slaves.A key point here is,it is subjective.Interference in personal issues by our parents can be disturbing to one,while not to another.
Humans are not instinctual creatures,and hence our actions are modified by the various norms in society.If we start acting out of instinct then there would be utter chaos,in this world.So being subjected to law,though to an extent is slavery,but is highly preferable.Too many arguments and counters can be given in this regard.I am rest assured that nothing will come up with an exact solution.
All i wish to say is,never be slave to things that are immaterial in our life.One should be able to set a threshold and be capable of demarcating between good and bad.After all we need to be slaves to our own mind,for surviving in this world.

The 'little' party

2008-06-19T19:00:00.006+05:30

There were numerous suggestions on the date for our farewell party and a conclusion seemed elusive.Finally,after weeks of speculation and parleys we decided on a date,20th June,2008.
The venue was Sindhoor palace,Kowdiar,TVM.
Time:5.00pm-8.00pm
We invited all the teaching as well as the non teaching staff of the EC department and most of them had agreed to turn up..hmm...
A number counting session ensued and we were keeping our fingers crossed on maximum of 50 students.There were many who had not made up their mind.This really worried us.So we decided to collect a sum of Rs 210/- from each student,and we decided to hand over a souvenir to everyone who attended the function.A DVD that contained all the photos and videos that were taken during our entire stint in college.We made some frantic calls to some guys asking their confirmation for the event.When the number touched 40 we decided to go ahead;come whatever...
June 20,2008.
A sudden turn of events,reinvigorated our spirits.An educational bandh declared by the Kerala Students Union,was a blessing in disguise.The university exam slated for that day was postponed and as result many confirmed their participation.We were mighty relieved,and was looking forward to making this 'little' party,a memorable one.
By,5.30pm,almost all the students had gathered at the venue,and it was time for chit chats.A never ending photo session ensued,with some 'handsome' guys trying to 'muscle' their way into every photo that was clicked.
Everything seemed to be going according to script.But there was a problem.There was no sign of any teaching or non teaching staff we had invited for the function.We ringing up everyone and reminded them of the function.We were glad to know that many were on their way.Finally they arrived,and much to our dismay there were only five of them.Enough was enough and we moved into the hall.

It was time for speeches.The teachers spoke on the transformation that happened to our batch over the years in college.
Now,it was the turn of the students.The onus was on our 'class rep',who made a wonderful speech,and the good work was carried forward by my friend who spoke next.There were some guys who were suggesting,I should speak next.I was not prepared for any speech.My mind was full of numbers...How many??..How much??..I had to give in to the pressure,and i really don't remember what i blabbered.To quote my friend;"sandeepinte election pracharanam(campaign)".Perhaps the fact, that i was seen as the 'last samurai' of KSU,among my classmates coerced me into being a bit political.

It was time for food,and there was the routine chaos associated with any buffet,hosted for students.It was fun for us,but not for the guys who were serving food and desserts.The souvenir was distributed in haste and it was time for us to vacate the hall.I paid the bill(55 students attended) and it seemed a burden was off my shoulder,and heaved a sigh of relief.We bid goodbye to the teachers who attended the function,and all of us stayed on near the parking lot.I wondered;the people who had raised objections on hosting the party in the evening were staying,despite it being so late.Maybe i was missing a point.The 'numbers' perhaps made me 'numb'.There were many around me who were crying,many were at the verge of breaking down,and i realized a bit too late that it was the one last time we all would be together.There were many who were bidding farewell to the city,and i realized,college life had come to a culmination.'Stay in touch','all the best' ruled the roost during the latter phase of our 'little' party,and i returned home after ensuring that almost all of them had left for their homes.
I lay in my bed,with a heavy heart,pondering on how 'big',the 'little' party actually was.......

Back From Hibernation

2008-06-19T18:48:00.002+05:30

Two months of exams has drained me out.I ve no topics to write on.Today marked the end of an illustrious four years in college.A well deserved break is in the offing,and perhaps i hope to blog more frequently than before.
If i start writing something now,all i would manage would be something on the exams,how tiring and disturbing they were..
So expect something new in few days time...
I ve lot of things to tell u...:-)

Who is to blame???

2008-04-01T07:38:00.001+05:30

Disclaimer: This is a highly sensitive article.If i offend anyone;i sincerely apologize.
I am not concerned about the literary value of the article.I just want to put forward a question to the readers and i want your sincere views,even if it offends me..

A strange event that happened during my routine visit to a temple really disturbed me.While praying i heard an argument between the 'poojari' & a devotee.I gave an ear to it,and i came to know that the 'poojari' was incidentally upset over the fact that the person had touched him.I heard the 'poojari' saying "ini njan Kshetra kulathil poyi kulikkanam"which means,"i need to take bath in the temple pond".I was shell shocked,and at that moment i felt such hatred towards the 'poojari'.Some weird thoughts came to my mind.If the 'poojari' can use the money used by the so called untouchables;can breath the same air as we all do etc...My mind was filled with such thoughts.

I returned home with a turbulent mind,and believe me,the 'poojari' was the person i hated most.I told my parents about it,and they were a not surprised to hear it.They came up with a plausible explanation."The 'poojari' only did what he was taught to do".Or in short he did his 'KARMA'.It was a mind boggling explanation,and i had no words to counter it.The storm in my mind blew away,and i felt sympathetic towards the 'poojari' who had to take a dip in the cold waters of the pond.

Who is to blame?.The 'poojari',the devotee or the system.I still don't know.All i know is that however developed our nation becomes people will still remain narrow minded.Caste,creed and all such social evils will compartmentalize our society.It will create different strata in society(to an extent political parties to play this card for electoral advantages.The implementation of OBC reservation in the higher education sector is a recent example.I believe reservation should be for the 'have nots',and not caste based).
I seek an answer from you,the reader.Please post your opinions as comments..

Expect the Unexpected

2008-03-13T07:39:00.001+05:30

There was a buzz in my class.I knew the reason,i stayed away.I had my reasons.....My rational mind was coercing me,but my devotion for 'them' prevented me.I didn't want to hurt 'them' in the course of an argument.I decided to take the plunge.Expect the unexpected..
Six months back my classmates were arranging for an 'Industrial Visit' as they put it.There was excitement in the air.Everybody was talking about it, being the last tour of college life.There were the usual arguments and debates on who should organize,where to go and the like.At times sparks flew(out of context).A consensus was reached.It was a 10 day trip to Hyderabad,Coorg...(rest of the places i don't recollect).The head count began,and there wasn't much takers for the proposal at first.The count was increasing slowly much to the anguish of the organizers.
My friends kept asking me whether i will be going for the tour. A times Silence is far more eloquent than a lecture.A convincing reason,they demanded.I needed time.I thought of some genuine lie,but i realized i needed to tell another set of lies to validate my initial lie.They argued, my insistence on not asking for permission from my parents was the major glitch.
I was feeling a whole lot uncomfortable to ask my parents for permission.I was forced into it..My parents never allowed my brother to go on tour,but he had the gift of the gab to convince them,and so he never missed them.I had witnessed the heated arguments,and at times i too chipped with suggestions.I had vehemently opposed, my brother going for tour. Was i genuinely interested in the tour,i wondered.I put some thought into it,but i couldn't convince myself.I was in a fix.Wouldn't it amount to double crossing if i ask for permission.I had no answer. 'I decided to take the plunge',despite all my inhibitions.

I approached my mother.Told her about it.Her reaction was the most unexpected one.She didn't raise any objection,and asked me to approach dad for final opinion.I presented the issue before my father,who gave a patient hearing.An abrupt 'no' was something i expected,but he took time to give his reasons as to why i will not be allowed.The reasons were not convincing,but still i didn't dare to argue.I was a bit upset at not being granted permission, still i don't know whether i wanted to go).A day later, i raised the issue again,to dad,the answer was the same.This time he gave me a new proposal.He suggested,i utilize the days of the tour to visit my aunt and cousin who lives in Delhi.The icing on the cake was that he offered me a flight ticket to Delhi.It was an offer i couldn't resist.Flying on a plane was a dream i had harnessed since childhood.I forgot all about tour,and agreed to this sumptuous proposal.My joy had no bounds.I cant put it in words.
I got my flight ticket that day afternoon..
My flight was scheduled for 26th September,at 12.30pm.Air Sahara,flight no..s2 147....

In life nothing goes as per plan,always expect the unexpected....

I boarded the flight

Destiny Rulzzzzzz

2008-01-09T18:52:00.002+05:30

While at school, i had heard of campus recruitments for engineering students.After joining college i had seen the numerous placement campaigns that took place ,and had also donned the role of a volunteer for some.My stint as a volunteer was very heart breaking.I had seen people who were on cloud nine & some who were totally depressed.I had seen the two extremes.I was never upset though; thinking of what was in stock for me,when placement commences for our batch..A testimony to that fact was that i did not attend any classes meant for Campus placements;when almost all of my classmates were doing so.I could never find a reason why i was not nervous about my future.The only logical explanation i can find is, i always believe in destiny.I had made up my mind to should attend maximum number of off campus placements to get a feel of how things are like,so that i can be prepared while attending placements in campus.
I came to know of shreds,an HR agency in Kerala who arranges for off campus placements. I registered & my friends to followed suit.So the first company on list for the 2008 batch was SIEMENS.The tests were to conducted on 10th march,2007,at UC college Aluva,Ernakulam District.So we decided to give it a shot.So there we were, 3 of us, boarding a Bus from TVM at 9.30pm(9th march) to EKM.The journey was comfortable,thanks to the help offered by the man at the Ticket counter who offered us the front seat in the bus.
March 10,2007...
We reached Ernakulam in the early hours of the morning.My brother who works at Ernakulam came to the bus stop and took us home.We had a small nap,and then we were getting ready for the journey ahead.We boarded a bus to Aluva and took an autorickshaw from Aluva,to the venue of the test.
We found a huge crowd of students coming from different parts of the state.I lost all my hopes on seeing such a big crowd there( though i did not have any great hopes).Anyway having ventured, i decided to give it a try.At the test venue we met some more of my classmates too.Now i felt at ease and we all stayed together for the rest of the day.
The first test got over and i did not attempt all the questions despite no negative marking being there.I realized how foolish i was,and felt a bit disturbed thinking i would not make it.We had to wait for the results for about an hour.We were fooling around waiting for the results.The results came and there was a huge rush to check it.I stayed away from the crowd ,and soon i found my friend coming to me and saying "u made it".I felt numb,it was something i never expected to happen.There were still two more tests before we were allowed to sit for the actual test conducted by SIEMENS.Six of my classmates had qualified,and we eventually made it to the Final Frontier.
The company officials did a pre placement talk and i was a bit nervous then,sitting in the front row.I was feeling sleepy,owing to the long journey.I got a new lease of life when i got the question paper in hand.I wrote the test,and i felt i had done it well,but i always believed there were better people than me there.So i did not keep any hopes.The officials let us know that results of that test would only be published by 8pm.
So after a long tiring day,both physically and mentally,i went back with my friends to their hotel room.After getting fresh, we vacated the room & took a bus to Ernakulam city,and we were wandering around the marine drive.We had planned we shall leave for TVM,if none of us make it for the interview.We were wandering on the road,and were having such a nice time,that the thoughts of the upcoming result never bothered us.It was 11pm.We were still on the road,and would have got free accommodation at the Police Station,had my father not called and arranged for an accommodation.We shifted to the room we got and still there was no sign of the result.I was half asleep,when the phone rang,it was my brother..He told i had made it for the interview.I was elated,and suddenly i realized i was in a fix.I had no apparel i could wear for the interview.My brother realized this and he journeyed back to Ernakulam from home(he had gone home,after sending me for the test).
March 11,2007..
My brother reached there by 6am in the morning and took me to his home.I was thrilled at the prospect of attending an interview of such a prestigious company.I was not at all nervous.I was and my brother dropped me at the Taj Hotel,the venue of the interview.I met numerous anxious candidates.I waited amongst them.I found many of them going through books.I felt a bit awkward sitting there with no books or so.I waited for my turn.My name was called and i walked into the room,with prayers in my mind.I made myself at ease and the interviewer eventually started quizzing me.I gave reasonably satisfying answers and he seemed pleased and asked me to wait outside for the HR interview.My mind chanted,just a stage to go.I felt as if i was living a dream.My HR interview went smoothly and now i was really having some hopes of making it..I started for Trivandrum by noon with my brother and reached here at night..
March 14,2007
I was getting worried as the result had not come out,and was eagerly waiting for it.I went to college as usual and then i got a call from a friend who told me the news i was waiting for those two days...I had made it...I cant perhaps describe how i felt then,using words..It was one of the happiest days of my life...What followed, was a series of treats for my friends...and then gradually life came back to normalcy,and i became more confident to attend the on campus placements...

NB:It was one of the most enjoyable experience i had,and the success i had, made it even more sweeter.No wonder do i remember every part of something that happened about a year back..I really believe destiny plays a major role in our life,and my experience is a testimony to the very fact..

Need to be positive in life...

2007-12-10T21:40:00.000+05:30

Life can be very tricky and mine has been one.Life at times take you to glorious heights and then can take you down to ground zero in the next instant.My recent conversations with my friends have often ended up on a pessimistic note.Many are either very pessimistic by nature or sometimes situation makes them one.So i thought i should address this issue in my personal space.Not sure though how many will read it..

Life takes its course.We go through different challenges in life and it is not a certainty that we overcome all of them.It is even foolish to think so.I had many a troubled times in my life,there were even times when i felt really bad about myself,felt like i am good for nothing.The belief in god did make me realize that life is not always entertaining,there are bad times and good times would soon follow.There will be a purple patch in everybody's life.You have to wait for it and it would come for you.
There are occasions when one will have to face numerous failures.Instead of getting depressed one should try his best to find the positive that came out of it.If you keep thinking about the failures,you can't move forward in life.You will be engrossed by depression and this can lead to severe complications which most of you would know..

The key area that needs to be addressed is how you can stand tall at times of distress.Always realize that life is a mixture of good and bad times.A diffident guy would always feel that life is so gloomy and so distressing.Think about the good times yet to come and then you would realize that life is indeed colorful.Being a believer i would suggest that if u turn to God at times of distress and seek his guidance we would be able to overcome our trauma,and start thinking positively.Keeping in view of the atheist's around,i would suggest if not god they can turn to someone who they trust and tell him to offer help.There need be a guiding force in life and one needs to have someone there(Be it God,Ideologies,or some person,or your mind) .I have used the word mind,and it is with a purpose.Our mind can be our best companion provided we think positive else it can be really misleading.

So i would suggest that the best thing to do, is that you should not except too much from what you are doing,so that you are not overly disappointed when u cant make it and hence you would not start thinking negatively.You start feeling like you didn't have much hopes so no cause for concern and then you would naturally believe that you can make it next time with some improvements on it.

Since i am not a psychologist or philosopher,i cant really guarantee what i have written is applicable to all.At least it is true with regard to some of friends and myself.

My tryst with 'ubuntu'

2007-11-24T11:56:00.000+05:30

On a fine Saturday morning in October,i decide i should give a break to "Windows XP".My decision was not something out of the air.It had strong reasons.The formation of The "Free Software Cell(FSF)" in college opened my eyes to the promising world of free softwares.Free softwares were the talk of the town(college...).Being extremely choosy when it comes to doing anything with the computer,i had turned a deaf ear to LINUX all these years.There was one guy in class,who for the past year was canvassing us on the power of "Ubuntu".I had turned a deaf ear to his words,for the reason cited above.
The new found excitement about 'linux' ,in college instilled a strong desire to try out Ubuntu.Still wonder why i took that decision...:)
I woke up early that dreaded day,downloaded Ubuntu from some source i dont remember,burned it into a CD.Everything went smoothly up to that point.I had some personal issues to deal with and finishing all those,i returned back to the computer by about afternoon.
I put the CD in and i was thrilled on seeing the starting page.I started installing it.There were many hurdles to face with.I went on until, i had to allocate memory to install "ubuntu".There started my problems.
I called my friend('a pro in linux'),who asked me to be careful about it,and advised me not to allocate the space where "Windows was already installed".Fate had it, i allocated that very "dreaded space".Without knowing what i had done.I continued with the installation.To my absolute despair,the installation stopped at 82%..'dreaded CD'....I got nuts,so restarted the computer,and to my utter dismay,my screen read"Bootloader missing".It was then i realised my big mistake.I tried installing Linux again but the failed.
So i thought of formatting my hard disk,and reinstall Windows.I took my hard disk to my friend's house,with the hope of recovering the data from the hard disk and then Format it..
Think i was having the best time in my life.
My friend connected the Hard Disk, to his system...
I smelled something burning,and in no time i saw smoke coming from my hard disk.My friend was in a state of shock.I was totally shattered.Cursing myself i took the hard disk to the service center.They accepted the Hard disk woth much reluctance,and finally after some lecture on Guarantee and stuff,they agreed and promised to repair it in 20 days time..
20 days seemed too much of a pain.Finally i got my Hard Disk back.And here i am telling the tale to u..
Now if at all i feel like using ubuntu,i use the live cd,and it is a sheer delight using 'ubuntu' .
So beware,never get careless while doing things that are important...:)

PS:-I am in no way making derogatory remarks against ubuntu or Windows.

Walk Down Memory Lane

2007-11-24T07:55:00.000+05:30

Those words……Those words…..kept ringing in my ears, as if it was some kind of an alarm bell…..An informal talk in class by our HOD on the responsibilities of senior students, eventually ended up sending waves of panic across us.He had summarized the discussion with those carefully construed words….”Your Days as a privileged senior student is numbered” …..

No wonder it sent shockwaves in our minds. Truth always has a hint of harshness with it. No matter how hard we try to run away from it, will follow us with ease. The fact of the matter had really evoked my thoughts. I started wondering three years had passed and in one year’s time I will have to bid adieu to my dear friends.

October 4^th, 2004, my first day in college. I walked into this college with my parents and I met many anxious faces, off which many eventually became my classmates. I had two of my schoolmates in my class, and hence I did not suffer for the lack of company in the initial phases. I still remember how our class representative (‘Rep’ettan) was elected. A well engineered plan by my dear friend, who had quite unwittingly tricked our ‘Rep’ettan into a position of responsibility. He still shoulders that burden in convincing fashion.

During those initial phases I could hear many of my fellow mates complaining on the disdainful bit of infrastructure in our college. There were still many who repented on the decision to join this college. Some used to talk about the college being not so popular despite being well inside the city. The lunch breaks during those first year days were a bit of a nightmare owing to the fair bit of ragging, but the seniors never crossed the limits. So months went by, we all got used to the college and surroundings. The complaining voices had subdued, and a strong bondage was gradually growing among us. Then it was the time for exams, and I could see everyone going about studying. So I too followed suit took to my books, and did a reasonable job in the exams.

Finally we had “graduated” to second year and then things were going smoothly, for me until the union elections. I was coerced into contesting the elections by someone who was a close friend of my brother (who had apparently studied here), and I could not convince him to leave me alone. Elections were fought in nice spirit, and as expected I lost the elections. I need to mete out a special word of praise for the leaders of both parties for maintaining a peaceful environment in college. Ever since I joined this college there were no clashes on the basis of politics, or any matter to that extent.

Time flew by and exams were taking their due course and somehow I kept managing them. There were many moments like the Onam celebrations, the fresher’s day, arts festival, where we got together as class and did our part. There were the odd fights in class, which never snowballed into a ‘Big fight’(I am extremely happy to have not been part of any fight, but had often dawned the role of a mediator). The tour is that one thing I had always missed and I had some very personal reasons for doing so, and my classmates were never convinced by those reasons and I was always “tortured” for it.

Then came the big moment, our placement season had begun. Many were caught off guard (including myself), and some were upto it by going for CRT classes. A dozen of us (me too) from our classes had ventured to Ernakulam to attend the ‘Siemens’ placement campaign, and I still remember the time we had at ‘Marine drive’, awaiting the results of the test. That was perhaps my last visit to ‘Shreds’ because placements had already commenced in our college. Many including myself were recruited by wipro, there were faces of delight. It was disheartening to see the depressed faces of those who did not make it. Many companies are yet to come. I hope all my classmates would be placed by the time we “pass out” of college.

All good things must come to an end. To summarize my entire college days till date in one or two pages is an Herculean task, and so I have left out many memorable moments. Recalling all the ‘good things’ that has happened to me after I joined the college, I have every right to say that “College life is indeed an exciting phase in life”. The numerous friends I made, the time I spent with them are all moments that I will cherish a long time. Missing my dear friends would be an ordeal I need to cope with. It is inevitable though……………. To quote Winston Churchill

“Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing has happened”.